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U.S. States Most And Least Likely To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

zombie3 Given the growing frequency with which zombies appear in movies, TV shows, and your worst nightmares, it’s inevitable the zombie apocalypse will soon be upon us. When it comes to surviving this inevitable showdown with the undead, location is everything. Do you live in a state populated with zealous zombie fighters capable of beating back hordes of brain-hungry walking dead? Estately answered this question with its Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Rankings, which were determined using the 11 metrics below that measure fighting ability, knowledge of zombies, physical fitness, and access to weapons…

  1. Active Military Personnel:  States with more soldiers per capita means states with more people who are physically fit, trained to fight, and have access to weapons (source).
  2. Military Veterans: Percentage of veterans per capita is a solid way of measuring fighting experience (source).
  3. Physically Active:  States with residents who rarely get out of their Laz-E-Boy will not escape the zombie menace (source).
  4. Martial Arts Enthusiasts:  Hand-to-hand combat is an important skill when the ammo runs out (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “martial arts” as an interest).
  5. People with Survival Skills: In the long run, knowing how to survive without modern conveniences in a collapsed society will be critical (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “survival skills” as an interest).
  6. People with Knowledge of Zombies:  To know your enemy you must know their ways (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “zombies, Resident Evil, Zombieland, and The Walking Dead” as interests).
  7. Laser Tag Enthusiasts:  Yes, laser tag. Few things prepare you for a zombie attack in enclosed space (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “laser tag” as an interest).
  8. People with Guns:  Shooting a zombie in the head is really the best way to defeat a zombie, and to do that you need a gun (source).
  9. Obesity:  The obesity epidemic will yield to the zombie epidemic because the obese will struggle with running away from zombies. It’s really very simple (source).
  10. Paintball Enthusiasts:  Those who can slink around the woods unnoticed while splattering their enemies with paint will find success shooting zombies in nature (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “paintball” as an interest).
  11. Triathletes:  When everything breaks down, running, swimming, and bicycling will be ideal ways to escape zombies  (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed  “Ironman triathlon” as an interest).

Below is a complete ranking of the 50 states based on zombie apocalypse preparedness. Those at the top are the most likely to survive and those at the bottom are the least likely to. Scores are per capita rankings for each category.

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From the rankings, we discovered these surprising truths…

  1. Delaware is an island of survivors in the zombie-strewn hellscape that will be the Mid-Atlantic.
  2. Florida, where the zombie apocalypse (like all serious problems) will no doubt begin, is oddly not in 51st place.
  3. Wisconsin can now make fun of Minnesota and Michigan about something other than the Green Bay Packers standing in the NFC North.
  4. New Jersey and Mississippi routinely end up on the bottom of lists. All lists.
  5. Rural states offer favorable survivability.
  6. Something’s wrong with Nebraska.
  7. Utah loves laser tag.
  8. The West Coast and the South will eventually agree on something—the delicious appeal of brains.
Profile of the 10 States Most Prepared To Survive Zombie Apocalypse
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RYAN NICKUM

1st—ALASKA

In a state where residents run from bears and moose, they will not be scared of slow-moving corpses. Alaska is packed with military personnel and veterans, and they’re only a fraction of the well-armed Alaskans prepared to shoot zombies from a moving snowmobile.

2nd—WYOMING

No other state has a shared love of zombie movies and guns like Wyoming. While New Yorkers are having their brains eaten in cafes and elevators, the fine people of Wyoming will be sitting on the front porch with a shotgun enjoying a prolonged zombie hunting season.

3rd—COLORADO

Coloradans are well known to be among the most physically fit in the country so when zombies start crawling out of their graves, most of the state’s residents will be miles away, easily jogging up a 10,000-foot mountain.

4th—IDAHO

If a horde of zombies stumbles into Lewiston, Idaho they’re going to have their hands full. Idahoans are physically active, heavily armed, and are hard to catch because they’re oddly really into parkour.

5th—NEW MEXICO

This state knows its zombie facts (from movies and TV shows), but it’s also full of triathletes and martial enthusiasts. Not only can residents escape from zombies by running, swimming, or biking, but they can also turn around and dole out some beat downs like the ninja assassins they are.

6th—MONTANA

The state’s residents previously prepared to face the zombie apocalypse, but that was because pranksters hacked into a TV station’s EAS and broadcasted a message that the zombie apocalypse had begun. Had that not been a test, those zombies would have experienced the full wrath of Montana’s arsenal because that state is heavily armed.

7th—ARIZONA

Home to both the Department of Zombie Defense and the Arizona Zombie Defense Force. The state of Arizona trains for the zombie apocalypse with zombie walks, a Zombie Night at an Arizona Diamondbacks game, and much more.

8th—NEVADA

Las Vegas is home to the Zombie Apocalypse Store, so it’ll be easy to buy supplies to fend off the walking dead. Cities around the state are already prepping with zombie pub crawls, a state run zombie prevention site, and more.

9th—NEW HAMPSHIRE

New Yorkers fleeing a zombie apocalypse will drive up real estate prices when the move to the Granite State, the most prepared in the Northeast.

10th—WISCONSIN

Should the zombies enter an office building in Wisconsin, they’ll face a large number of people prepared to shoot zombies in confined areas because Wisconsin is home to the most laser tag enthusiasts per capita in America. Wisconsin is awesome. Click HERE for proof.

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PROFILE OF 10 STATES THAT WILL DEFINITELY NOT SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

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WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

42nd—MASSACHUSETTS

Despite being physically fit, residents of Massachusetts are almost completely lacking in knowledge of zombies. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s very costly in a zombie apocalypse. 

43rd—TENNESSEE

The Tennessee Zombie Response Unit has its work cut out for it because the rest of state is ill prepared to battle the undead. Tennesseans should abandon their company softball teams and form paintball teams instead.

44th—LOUISIANA

For Louisiana, the downside of letting the good times roll is it makes it very difficult outrun the living dead. Lack of physical fitness and limited knowledge of zombies dooms the great state of Louisiana… once it runs out of ammunition.

45th—ALABAMA

Here’s a plan—Alabama confronts its obesity by training for the Alabama Biathalon. It’s a variation of the winter sport, but instead of cross-country skiing you just run around the woods with a gun shooting at everything. It’s like hunting season, but you can’t bring a 24-pack of beer.

46th—CONNECTICUT

Residents of Connecticut should either begin playing laser tag or start seasoning themselves because if the zombie apocalypse started today they’d get eaten up as appetizers.

47th—GEORGIA

Even though The Walking Dead is set in Georgia, residents there have little interest in zombies. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, the undead will discover Georgia brains are as sweet as Georgia peaches.

48th—NEW YORK

If there were New York travel brochure for zombies it would tout the state’s lack of veterans, limited enthusiasm for survival skills, and scarcity of firearms.

49th—DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

Our nation’s capital has almost no knowledge of zombies, martial arts, or firearm ownership. It’s going to be an all-you-can-eat brain buffet for the zombies.

50th—MISSISSIPPI

M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-Die. Everybody is going to die. From zombies.

51st—NEW JERSEY If the zombie apocalypse began today, and you live in New Jersey, the odds are 100% that you’ve already been bitten and have become a zombie, unless you took a course from New Jersey’s own Zombie Survival Course. It’s real, and it could definitely save your life… even though they criticized our article (video proof).

Check out these articles about our zombie list…

CNET:  When the zombie apocalypse hits, pray you’re in Alaska

Wall Street Journal:  If a Zombie Epidemic Hits, New Jersey Is Screwed (Map)

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Estately is a national online real estate search site whose articles have been featured in the CNET, San Francisco Chronicle, Houston Chronicle, NBC News, Philadelphia Magazine, GeekWire, The Denver Post, and more.

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  • Joe dirt

    Me fail highskol, that’s unpossile.

  • God is greater!

    actually the only two nations that would survive a global Zombie threat of any kind, in tact. would be of course the United States of America and the Nation of Israel, and here is why: both nations are independent republics, they both arm their citizens with weapons, they both have stronger militaries, both have a strong will to fight, to be free and to survive as well and also…they could just build a giant wall around their nations until one of them creates a cure. God bless both the USA and Israel!

  • ZOMBIE SLAYER

    who ever made this list must of popped it out of there asshole

  • peacemaker64

    whoever made this article has WAY too much time on their hands!. However, i do like the table above, good information for survival, zombies aside.

    the big question becomes DO YOU HAVE YOUR BUG OUT BAG??
    that is a bag that you keep in your car, maybe another in the house, a bigger one, that has all resources needed for survival. Even though the FEDs say that you should have food/water 3 days rations for each member of your household. what happens after 3 days?? better plan, try something like 3 months.

    case in point; Hurrican Katrina; people were camped out in the football stadium for WEEKS and the FEDs could’nt even get them water??? that just goes to show you that you need to rely on yourself,

    are the uber rich going to hide out in their underground bunkers?? who cares.

    my two cents(or my 2$ same thing)

  • Damien

    North Carolina should be ranked alot higher due simply to the military bases in the state.

  • Jessica

    Using correct spelling and grammar isn’t about being perfect… it’s about paying attention to what you’re doing. People make honest mistakes, yes, but I’d say 90% of the people who consistently make mistakes are just too lazy to learn how to do it the right way. Employers literally toss resumes with spelling mistakes because it is a sign of laziness or ignorance, so, why shouldn’t people who catch spelling mistakes on a forum do differently?

  • Keith Schiffner

    and yet they still have more brains (even if it’s just festering maggot ridden shit) than ANY republican. :) I stole a brain that’s why I’m not one of those vacuum headed idiots. :) Oh wait, republicans ARE zombies.

  • bob the zombie

    upper michigan would survive lower wouldn’t

  • Samantha Pliska

    Massachusetts should be at least in the middle, not 42nd. Maybe our lack of “liking” certain zombie movies on Facebook, is a hint that we are smarter than this list.

  • Ryan_Estately

    or it’s a hint that those clever Massachusetts brains will be eaten by the undead.

  • Samantha Pliska

    ^^Love it.

  • Al725

    I think the liberal states with their absurd gun laws will fair the worst. I completely disagree about Texas. People there are armed!

  • Justin Vincent

    sorry. texas, Louisiana, etc. have you ever been there? everyone has a firearm, everyone can use them. also we arent all obese. most of us in the south are farmers dumbshit. you cant work fields all day being overweight. get your facts straight

  • jk

    LOL, most people don’t even know how to properly use a firearm nor start a bonfire from scratch. Also, most people lose their minds and panic during emergencies. I’d say, more than half of the entire nation would be wiped out. Everyone would be looking for an app for help, lmao.

  • tsh85

    Commas where there shouldn’t be, and no commas where there should be. Also he used there instead of they’re. His entire comment is a grammatical train-wreck.

  • tsh85

    He’s probably a college graduate. Unfortunately, this is what they’re putting out these days.

  • http://www.zazzle.com/sweet_sticky_rainbow sweetstickyrainbow

    The fat states need to find a safe way to eat the zombies. Then they will win this Zombie Apocalypse.

  • e

    Zombies would die in DC….there are no brains!

  • Laura

    you’re saying someone owns the zombies? did you mean they’re zombies not their?

  • Laura

    On that note, you misused commas several times and you have poor grammar and syntax. Try taking apart your contraction and reading the sentence that way, “why should not people who catch spelling mistakes on a forum do differently” First of all this sentence needs to be rearranged entirely;however, more importantly, I believe you meant, “why should people who catch spelling mistakes on a forum do differently” not “shouldn’t.” Furthermore, you do not need a comma before the word “yes” and you do not need one after the word “so.” Sincerely, a 4.0 major in English Education.

  • Jason

    Paintball? Really?

  • F

    This is fucking stupid. Obviously a paintballer made this.

  • Jj76541

    I disagree because Texas has the most military personnel and veteran personnel in the world so even though it does have big cities Texas is big enough to avoid them to go to different terrains in the state

  • Kat

    I love how this turned into a spelling bee.

  • David Muhn

    You try Surviving New York City Day to Day the Subways alone give us a Higher Stamina !

  • Nicholai Austrenzo

    No Idea how New Jersey would fall. Lolz. Like.. It’s Washington DC for heavens sake. Does no’one know how fast Washington & New York can actually deploy thousands of Soldiers into each City/State?

    In less then 8 minutes, the entire City will be in lockdown & within 15 minutes Tanks/Choppers/Planes will be though the City like Ants on some beef-jerky.

    I’m not even kidding. Lolz. Politicians might not be smart, but the people whom back these Politicians pull more weight then the Strongest Man on Earth. I literally can’t Imagine a City like New York or Washington where literally half the City can be completely blocked off with a single flick of a button & the Strongest Navy in the World can even fall to a Zombie Apocalypse. Lolz.

    I can tell you one thing, the very Idea that Zombies would be able to over-run a Military Compound is completely ridiculous.. Like seriously, If I try to drive up to the Michigan-Military Base, there’ll be around 200 people pulling guns up & aiming for my Head, before I could say, “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” Lolz.

    I’m sure the people in Washington & New York, where the Cops and Military would be the Elite considering the President is there, would be less gun-orientated then that. *Wink – Wink.*

    If I do recall, this person tried driving past a US-Barricade which’s in the direction of the Whitehouse & more then 10 KMs away, the lady was shot dead. HA?! I could only Imagine what 10,000 Zombies would do. Needless to say, with a Country that boasts the best Medical-Science in the World, there’s so many Scans people can use, to Identify whether or not a person is Infected or not. Like seriously, the CDC could simply place more then a Million of these Scans across the States, by which, If the person observing the Scanner sees person(B) with a plausible Illness/infection, the person could literally just shoot/capture the person(B) the moment this happens.

    In anycase, I’m currently living in Australia, which’s the most probably Country to survive a Zombie Apoc, so I’ll just leave it at that.

  • Nicholai Austrenzo

    Indeed.

  • Jacob Burke

    No, while the democrats are going around handing out trophies to EVERYONE for surviving a day ion the Zombie apocalypse, the Republicans will be at home with their guns killing zombies and protecting their family.

  • Keith Schiffner

    Naw, the republicant’s will be up there and trying to get the zombies to vote republican.

  • Fool_Killer

    “the republicant’s will be up there and trying to get the zombies to vote republican.”
    Don’t be silly. The dead (and the undead) vote Democrat.
    Always have; always will.

  • Wex Mispellax

    Wow, Grew up in Jersey, fell in love in Mississippi, and now I’m headed straight for hell. XD

  • Jon

    Are u for real Texas. more than half for special forces are from TX more gun per cap. The only state that could succeed. And 3rd largest army base in the us. Better research please

  • Jon

    And good luck in Wyoming with that pic arms locked and flat footed learn how to shoot that weapon. And frac water

  • Evan Emma

    Las Vegas casinos are already full of zombies…

  • Gary Olson

    Going from your reasons that people are going to survive a zombie attack. Your information is very wrong for PA. We have more paintball player, gun enthusiasts, vets, hunters, & total amount of firearms. Then the majority of the other states. I strongly disagree with this. I do agree all the liberal states (NJ) have no chance. They don’t like guns.

  • Molly Castillo

    Sorry, Texas being 26 on that list is BS, the idiots who made this list don’t realize how many homes have guns and ammo available!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Ramjet

    Stupid list because factors that should be subtracted are added. High Military Population, Veteran population and Gun Ownership is NOT going to increase the odds of Zombies taking over, but they added all the columns up and sorted by total.

  • Payyyy

    Hmmm… so does this mean if there is a zombie apocalypse, it’s going to be exactly like the walking dead or some other zombie movie/TV show? What if the apocalypse came and the zombies started flying around and shooting lasers out of their eyes? Well, not that, but something not expected.

  • zaqzilla

    I’m surprised California isn’t lower on the list. There they throw you in jail for even thinking about firearms. Maybe that big navy/marine corps. base bumped them up the list.

  • Jenny

    Hell yeah we would be prepared here in New Hampshire!!!

  • Sarah Soulia

    My kids were age 2 and age 3 and a half …They are not going to be perfect spellers at this point…But yes ofcourse I will when it comes time for that.

  • Sean

    Well obviously the writer of this blog has no clue about Texas, we pack guns and all we do is hunt and no permit needed to have a rifle or shotgun in your vehicle so we don’t need military personnel to save us. So do your reaserch on States before you write them off….

  • Kyle

    Plus we got over 11,000 lakes to escape too since zombies can’t swim.

  • Daniel Wisehart

    Shouldn’t California receive a penalty or a deduction for only allowing limited capacity magazines? One gun from other states with 30 rounds is worth three guns from California.