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U.S. States Most And Least Likely To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

zombie3 Given the growing frequency with which zombies appear in movies, TV shows, and your worst nightmares, it’s inevitable the zombie apocalypse will soon be upon us. When it comes to surviving this inevitable showdown with the undead, location is everything. Do you live in a state populated with zealous zombie fighters capable of beating back hordes of brain-hungry walking dead? Estately answered this question with its Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Rankings, which were determined using the 11 metrics below that measure fighting ability, knowledge of zombies, physical fitness, and access to weapons…

  1. Active Military Personnel:  States with more soldiers per capita means states with more people who are physically fit, trained to fight, and have access to weapons (source).
  2. Military Veterans: Percentage of veterans per capita is a solid way of measuring fighting experience (source).
  3. Physically Active:  States with residents who rarely get out of their Laz-E-Boy will not escape the zombie menace (source).
  4. Martial Arts Enthusiasts:  Hand-to-hand combat is an important skill when the ammo runs out (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “martial arts” as an interest).
  5. People with Survival Skills: In the long run, knowing how to survive without modern conveniences in a collapsed society will be critical (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “survival skills” as an interest).
  6. People with Knowledge of Zombies:  To know your enemy you must know their ways (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “zombies, Resident Evil, Zombieland, and The Walking Dead” as interests).
  7. Laser Tag Enthusiasts:  Yes, laser tag. Few things prepare you for a zombie attack in enclosed space (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “laser tag” as an interest).
  8. People with Guns:  Shooting a zombie in the head is really the best way to defeat a zombie, and to do that you need a gun (source).
  9. Obesity:  The obesity epidemic will yield to the zombie epidemic because the obese will struggle with running away from zombies. It’s really very simple (source).
  10. Paintball Enthusiasts:  Those who can slink around the woods unnoticed while splattering their enemies with paint will find success shooting zombies in nature (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “paintball” as an interest).
  11. Triathletes:  When everything breaks down, running, swimming, and bicycling will be ideal ways to escape zombies  (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed  “Ironman triathlon” as an interest).

Below is a complete ranking of the 50 states based on zombie apocalypse preparedness. Those at the top are the most likely to survive and those at the bottom are the least likely to. Scores are per capita rankings for each category.

zombie_color

From the rankings, we discovered these surprising truths…

  1. Delaware is an island of survivors in the zombie-strewn hellscape that will be the Mid-Atlantic.
  2. Florida, where the zombie apocalypse (like all serious problems) will no doubt begin, is oddly not in 51st place.
  3. Wisconsin can now make fun of Minnesota and Michigan about something other than the Green Bay Packers standing in the NFC North.
  4. New Jersey and Mississippi routinely end up on the bottom of lists. All lists.
  5. Rural states offer favorable survivability.
  6. Something’s wrong with Nebraska.
  7. Utah loves laser tag.
  8. The West Coast and the South will eventually agree on something—the delicious appeal of brains.
Profile of the 10 States Most Prepared To Survive Zombie Apocalypse
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RYAN NICKUM

1st—ALASKA

In a state where residents run from bears and moose, they will not be scared of slow-moving corpses. Alaska is packed with military personnel and veterans, and they’re only a fraction of the well-armed Alaskans prepared to shoot zombies from a moving snowmobile.

2nd—WYOMING

No other state has a shared love of zombie movies and guns like Wyoming. While New Yorkers are having their brains eaten in cafes and elevators, the fine people of Wyoming will be sitting on the front porch with a shotgun enjoying a prolonged zombie hunting season.

3rd—COLORADO

Coloradans are well known to be among the most physically fit in the country so when zombies start crawling out of their graves, most of the state’s residents will be miles away, easily jogging up a 10,000-foot mountain.

4th—IDAHO

If a horde of zombies stumbles into Lewiston, Idaho they’re going to have their hands full. Idahoans are physically active, heavily armed, and are hard to catch because they’re oddly really into parkour.

5th—NEW MEXICO

This state knows its zombie facts (from movies and TV shows), but it’s also full of triathletes and martial enthusiasts. Not only can residents escape from zombies by running, swimming, or biking, but they can also turn around and dole out some beat downs like the ninja assassins they are.

6th—MONTANA

The state’s residents previously prepared to face the zombie apocalypse, but that was because pranksters hacked into a TV station’s EAS and broadcasted a message that the zombie apocalypse had begun. Had that not been a test, those zombies would have experienced the full wrath of Montana’s arsenal because that state is heavily armed.

7th—ARIZONA

Home to both the Department of Zombie Defense and the Arizona Zombie Defense Force. The state of Arizona trains for the zombie apocalypse with zombie walks, a Zombie Night at an Arizona Diamondbacks game, and much more.

8th—NEVADA

Las Vegas is home to the Zombie Apocalypse Store, so it’ll be easy to buy supplies to fend off the walking dead. Cities around the state are already prepping with zombie pub crawls, a state run zombie prevention site, and more.

9th—NEW HAMPSHIRE

New Yorkers fleeing a zombie apocalypse will drive up real estate prices when the move to the Granite State, the most prepared in the Northeast.

10th—WISCONSIN

Should the zombies enter an office building in Wisconsin, they’ll face a large number of people prepared to shoot zombies in confined areas because Wisconsin is home to the most laser tag enthusiasts per capita in America. Wisconsin is awesome. Click HERE for proof.

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PROFILE OF 10 STATES THAT WILL DEFINITELY NOT SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

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WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

42nd—MASSACHUSETTS

Despite being physically fit, residents of Massachusetts are almost completely lacking in knowledge of zombies. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s very costly in a zombie apocalypse. 

43rd—TENNESSEE

The Tennessee Zombie Response Unit has its work cut out for it because the rest of state is ill prepared to battle the undead. Tennesseans should abandon their company softball teams and form paintball teams instead.

44th—LOUISIANA

For Louisiana, the downside of letting the good times roll is it makes it very difficult outrun the living dead. Lack of physical fitness and limited knowledge of zombies dooms the great state of Louisiana… once it runs out of ammunition.

45th—ALABAMA

Here’s a plan—Alabama confronts its obesity by training for the Alabama Biathalon. It’s a variation of the winter sport, but instead of cross-country skiing you just run around the woods with a gun shooting at everything. It’s like hunting season, but you can’t bring a 24-pack of beer.

46th—CONNECTICUT

Residents of Connecticut should either begin playing laser tag or start seasoning themselves because if the zombie apocalypse started today they’d get eaten up as appetizers.

47th—GEORGIA

Even though The Walking Dead is set in Georgia, residents there have little interest in zombies. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, the undead will discover Georgia brains are as sweet as Georgia peaches.

48th—NEW YORK

If there were New York travel brochure for zombies it would tout the state’s lack of veterans, limited enthusiasm for survival skills, and scarcity of firearms.

49th—DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

Our nation’s capital has almost no knowledge of zombies, martial arts, or firearm ownership. It’s going to be an all-you-can-eat brain buffet for the zombies.

50th—MISSISSIPPI

M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-Die. Everybody is going to die. From zombies.

51st—NEW JERSEY If the zombie apocalypse began today, and you live in New Jersey, the odds are 100% that you’ve already been bitten and have become a zombie, unless you took a course from New Jersey’s own Zombie Survival Course. It’s real, and it could definitely save your life… even though they criticized our article (video proof).

Check out these articles about our zombie list…

CNET:  When the zombie apocalypse hits, pray you’re in Alaska

Wall Street Journal:  If a Zombie Epidemic Hits, New Jersey Is Screwed (Map)

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Estately is a national online real estate search site whose articles have been featured in the CNET, San Francisco Chronicle, Houston Chronicle, NBC News, Philadelphia Magazine, GeekWire, The Denver Post, and more.

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  • Jfkhdjjt

    Either this dude hates the south or GREATLY underestimates them. Almost all of them own guns. Georgia and Alabama would be one of the 1st to live cause we LOVE to fuck shit up with guns. Plus, we got TONS of military bases in georgia. Atlanta might go down but that about it.

  • Allyfontally

    Haha! I knew the required gun training in 6th grade would pay off! ALASKANS WILL SURVIVE!!!!!

  • J. Maverick

    Kinda strange putting the south as zombieland since that’s where a lot of gun toting rednecks live. plus all the military bases in the south got heavy armories. big city’s and suburbs obviously dangerous cause mass populations make it easier to spread

  • Aaron

    THANK YOU! I was trying to find my comment regarding the same thing.

  • Bobby

    As a resident of Massachusetts I believe you aren’t taking into account our high level of education (Harvard and MIT), and our population based on islands and in mountainous regions. Plus our brutal winters will stop zombies in their tracks. I demand a recount!

  • ttoe

    Yeah, zombies don’t have any higher brain functions.

    Democra . . . er politicians in DC do have at least high enough brain functions screw up the nation.

    Lol, actually, it works either way because other than federal politics, the local politics is controlled by Democrats.

  • ttoe

    An entirely pointless conversation. Entertainment is the sole value to be had by this discussion.

    Zombies, as we have conceived them, are scientifically impossible.

    There is physical mechanical reasons behind why we die, behind why our muscles can be controlled and directed, physical requirements of what allows the mechanics of our different cells to even function to do their job.

    The supernatural actually makes logical sense when it comes to zombies because such a thing is scientifically impossible.

    First of all, without blood flow and O2, and a few other electrolytes, the most important of which being salt and Potassium, the movement of muscle tissue will quickly become impossible outside of the supernatural because the cells will have no physical force, electrical or otherwise, to actually cause them to contract. Understand something about muscles. All we do is due to contractions. Every move you make is because some muscle is contracting, pulling. Something needs to cause that contraction, and that is the electrostatic pull caused by the generation of energy within the muscular cells by the Mitochondria. Certain elements are required, O2 being the most important, for the mitochondria to generate that electrical charge that causes the muscle to contract.

    Anything that would infect the mind, and cause people to lose higher brain functions and become super mindlessly aggressive, maybe a modified form of rabies, would be required to use the current mechanics required to operate the body in order to operate the muscles and utilize the bodily functions that support the muscles, and they’d also have to keep the brain alive because once those mechanical processes stop that keep the cells alive and allow signals to be sent via the nervous system, it wouldn’t even matter if the muscles were alive because you have to be able to send a signal to cause their mitochondria to discharge their impulses in a controlled way in order to create movement.

    So that’s at least two bodily systems that would have to be kept alive, the nervous system, and the musculoskeletal system, which also means that a third system must be kept alive, the cardiovascular system.

    But hey, there’s another twist for another zombie movie/show. The organism that causes it does keep the body alive, which means bullets and such can kill them, you know, so long as the heart stops or they bleed out too much and such, but the immune system is unnecessary and is destroyed by the organism as it kills/suppresses the brain cells it doesn’t need. We could say that it’s possible that normally our immune system would fight off the organism, but since it is attacked first, our bodies never have the chance, so we can’t say for sure if it would. We’d find out in the end that in order to be stopped, requires either a virus that either kills the cells that keeps the Zombie infection alive, or maybe targets the organism that causes Zombieism, but that’s kind of cliche and too easy, or a rare bacteria that causes some kind of fatal infection in those with compromised immune systems, happens to literally move in where the Zombie organism lives. Normally, it would be quickly eliminated by our immune systems because it’s a rare infection found almost exclusively in those with compromised immune systems due to cancer treatments, AIDS, elderly age or premees, and it just so happens that it inadvertently kills the zombie organism as it moves into places the zombie organism requires to survive. Of course, the host will die of septicemia because obviously the Zombie organism has long since spread enough that the bacteria to kill it would spread to the point of causing a fatal case of septicemia. I suppose that we could just say that somehow we are able to save them, but then what about brain function? Are they vegetables, medically brain dead, and if not, why not?

  • ttoe

    Dude, graduating high school in this nation only proves that you’re not a monkey.

    Just last May, I think, or maybe it’s this coming fall or next, a kid got or is going to get a bachelor’s degree before graduating high school.

  • ttoe

    I don’t live there, but I’m pretty sure you all get a vote. I’m pretty sure you get a vote for president, for House representatives, but I don’t know about the Senate since DC isn’t a state. And I’m certain you all get a vote regarding local politics because otherwise, why would Democrats run DC? No way there wouldn’t be a split down the middle of the two parties if you all didn’t vote on local politicians.

  • Sarah Soulia

    I do not think the zombies nor the entire world will care about grammar or spelling when or if an apocalypse does occur. And just a bit of knowledge for you. There are politicians that can not spell. Oh man ,that’s right because not a single soul is perfect. Also I do not see a single word spelled incorrectly except for gonna should be going to. Worry about survival,and not spelling.

  • Sarah Soulia

    Because no one is perfect.

  • Sarah Soulia

    you also forgot your comma after “is”.

  • Johnny Appleseed

    I disagree with P.A. being doubted due to lots of hunting in the area so there are lots of guns floating around. Also with many outdoor lovers and a common are when raising Soliders and providing homes for veterans. Let’s not forget that most of Americas government is located in P.A. This seems bad but this location is likely to have military units protecting government offices. So I disagree with P.A. ranking.

  • Megan Helsley

    I completely disagree. San Diego? Home of Comic-Con? Hello? We’re totally ready for Z-Day!!

  • Landy

    No offense but you wanna know something about Miley Cyrus and Barrack Obama?

    Miley Cyrus went all bad girl because Barrack Obama showed up

  • Confused

    I don’t mean to be rude but your list seems to be designed backwards, so that the amount of people/the percentage of people shown is the amount that doesn’t do whatever is being talked about. It seriously confused me. Also, New Jersey is a dangerous place. I’m sure they would do just fine in the zombie apocalypse.

  • Xsaviour

    Texas will survive! We have awesome guns,knifes,bow,and transportation.
    And that’s just the people on Facebook,not all people sit on their asses all day in front of a screen.

  • Bandi

    I don’t know about all this but I would think Texas would surprise the maker of this list… i think Texas would be the one place that would be okay if stuff hit the fan lol

  • Jason Bourne

    Texas should be up top. Everyone and their mother owns a gun and knows how to shoot one.

  • The_Emperor

    Probably the one George W Bush went to

  • A smart person

    What the actual fuck umm fort benning and the cdc r in Georgia fort bennin is the second largest military bace in the us like really who made this

  • john1275

    you obviously know very little about people from the south east, ESPECIALLY, Alabama and Mississippi. that’s ok though. keep thinking that way. will work to my advantage.

  • john1275

    Chicago’s population is around 85% zombies as it is, half of those are drunk, and virtually NO ONE, zombies or no, have a firearm.

  • William Theuret

    NM Also has one of the nation’s largest military bases, and a mountain full of rockets and missiles.

  • Gaming Master Anthony

    what about Michigan? Sure there’s un healthy people, but with cities like Detroit and Troy,along with a few more cities in the MURDER MITTEN, means a whole lot of bullets, guns AND people surviving on a daily basis. Plus almost everyone here watches the walking dead or plays undead video games

  • Vasya Bricklyn

    Their housewives will be too self consumed in their own reality TV shows to even notice what is going on in the world. It would be enjoyable to see this marble mouth state consumed whole.

  • ggghhytghhhjh

    Texas is its own military. So I disagree with Texas being on the list.