|  Lists, Maps

You Can Learn A Lot About America From Each State’s Internet Search History

google-search-map2 America’s fifty states have a lot in common, but if their internet search histories are any indication they also have significant differences. Estately ran hundreds of search queries through Google Trends to determine which words, terms, and questions each state was searching for more than any other. The results ranged from mildly amusing to completely disturbing. No doubt this information will come in handy for anyone trying to decide which state they want to buy a home in, especially for those curious how their potential neighbors spend their time online. The results on the map above are just the tip of the online search iceberg. Check out what other search queries each state performed more of than any other in the list below…

ALABAMA:  FOX News / God / Impeach Obama / Jesus / Jessica Simpson / Obama Is The Antichrist / Polka  / Satan

Analysis:  It’s a fire and brimstone kind of state, but with a soft spot for pretty blondes.

ALASKA:   Adult Friend Finder / AR-15 / Bestiality / Bird Watching / Couch Surfing / Mail Order Bride / Pull Tabs / Sarah Palin

Analysis:  It’s awful lonely up north.

ARIZONA:  Conjugal Visits / Hippies / Scorpion Sting / How are babies made?

Analysis:  Things you’d overhear on an Arizona hippie commune:  “I have to reschedule my conjugal visit because have to see a doctor about this scorpion sting.

ARKANSAS:  Atkins Diet / End of Days / Lap Band Surgery / Learn to Read / Walmart Jobs

Analysis:  In 2013, Arkansas was declared the most obese state in America, and evidently they did something about it because in 2014 they’re now the second most obese.

CALIFORNIA: Alcoholics Anonymous / Bros Before Hos / Dandruff Cure / Food Poisoning / Google Glass / Kim Kardashian / Meat is Murder / Paris Hilton / Pokemon / Rogaine / What does Siri look like?

Analysis:  California has a variety pack of issues.

COLORADO:  CrossFit / Marijuana / Paleo Diet / Rocky Mountain Oysters / Tim Tebow

Analysis:  Nobody jumps on the latest trends like Colorado.

CONNECTICUT:  The Dave Matthews Band (band) / Hearing Voices / Pepperidge Farms / Wu-Tang Clan (rap group)

Analysis:  Wu-Tang Clan and The Dave Matthews Band exchange Pepperidge Farms gift baskets during the holidays.

DELAWARE:  Delaware, Joe Biden, What Is Delaware?

Analysis:  Delaware is the only state that’s aware of Delaware.

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA:  Congressional Investigation / Lobbyist Jobs / C.I.A. / Hillary Clinton / Ronald Reagan / Republican Party / Democratic Party

FLORIDA:  Alligator Wrestling / Botox / Eyebrow Piercing / Hulk Hogan / Juviderm / Lice / Mazda Miata / MDMA / Obamacare / Stand Your Ground / Swingers / Viagra / What is sarcasm?

Analysis:  The only thing surprising about Florida’s search history is that it wasn’t even weirder. 

GEORGIA:  Athlete’s Foot / Butt Implants / Cooking Crack / Divorce / Spanx / Weave / What is tofu?

Analysis:  In the end, homemade crack and a new butt just aren’t enough to save a marriage.

HAWAII:  Buddha / Cock Fighting / North Korea / Rastafari Movement / Slam Poetry / Spam Recipe

Analysis:  When you live within range of North Korea’s nukes it’s important to find distractions. 

IDAHO:  Bigfoot, Caramel Corn, Potato, Unicorns,

Analysis:  It’s a great state for imaginary creatures hungering for carbs.

ILLINOIS:  Burrito / Deep Dish Pizza / Dennis Rodman (idiot) / Golf Injury / Oasis (band) / Pizza / Racist Jokes / Thin Crust Pizza / “Workaholics” (TV show)

Analysis:  In Illinois, you get a free racist joke with the purchase of a large two-topping pizza. 

INDIANA:  Avon / Creationism / Communism / Diabetes / I have a rash /Jared Fogle (Subway spokesman) / Pacifism

Analysis:  Indiana is a conflicted state.

IOWA:  Bacon / Corn / County Fair / Drake (sadly, not the rapper) / First Amendment / Gay Marriage

Analysis:  A lot of young corn farmers toil all year long, anxiously awaiting the day Drake will perform at the local county fair… or else they’re just looking into the academic opportunities at Drake University.

KANSAS:  Hoof and Mouth Disease / “How I Met Your Mother” (TV show) / Toupee

Analysis:  Looks like Kansas finally has something to put on its travel brochures.

KENTUCKY:  Black Friday / Bowling / Creed (band) / Demonic Possession / Lyrics to Happy Birthday / New Year’s Resolution / Obama Is the Antichrist (tied with Alabama) / Whores

Analysis:  In Kentucky, a common New Year’s resolution is to refrain from staring at prostitutes speaking in tongues when out bowling.

LOUISIANA:  Alligator Hunting / Channing Tatum / “Golden Girls” (TV show) / Paternity Test / Pope Francis

Analysis:  Channing Tatum is the child’s real father!!!

MAINE:  Cat Pics / How to roll a joint / Growing Marijuana / Michael Flatley’s “Lord of the Dance”

Analysis:  Maine is ideal habitat for lonely cat owners who are also stoners.

MARYLAND:  Crabs / David Hasselhoff / “House of Cards” (TV show) / Kickball / National Football League / Skate or Die / What is Twitter?

Analysis:  David Hasselhoff? Is Maryland America’s Germany?

MASSACHUSETTS:  Canadian Men / Eyebrow Waxing / George Costanza / Hangover Cure / Muppets / PCP / Tinder / Yoga

Analysis:  If you can land a date with one of the much coveted Canadian men in Massachusetts, be sure to take him to the premier of “The Muppets Take PCP”. The Oscars buzz is real. 

MINNESOTA:  Football / Hipster / Personal Injury Lawyer / Rollerblading / Synchronized Swimming / Women’s National Basketball Association

Analysis:  Let’s see how this compares to Wisconsin…

MICHIGAN:  Knock-Knock Jokes / Little Caesars / Omelette / Taco Bell / Topless Bar / Where do babies come from?

Analysis:  A first date in Michigan consists of meeting for fast foot and telling each other knock-knock jokes.

MISSISSIPPI:  Candy Crush / Codeine / Dog Fighting / Lose Weight / Making Crack / Tupac Is Alive / Twerking / What is Instagram?

Analysis:  What happens in Mississippi stays in Mississippi, and it’s definitely for the best that Mississippi doesn’t know how to post photos of it on Instagram.

MISSOURI:  Family Circus (comic) / Nelly (rapper)

Analysis:  Missouri’s wifi must have gone out sometime in 2002. 

MONTANA:  Bill O’Reilly (TV host) / Gun Rights / National Rifle Association / Meth

Analysis:  So that’s how they use the internet in Montana…

NEBRASKA:  Jazzercise / Shuffleboard

Analysis:  The state’s new tourism slogan is “Come for the shuffleboard, stay for the Jazzercise”

NEVADA:  Bitcoin / Breast Implants / Gamblers Anonymous / Great White (band) / Guy Fiery (TV chef) / Online Poker / Quiet Riot (band) / Tattoo Removal

Analysis:  The shallow hedonism that was the 1980s is alive and well in Nevada.

NEW HAMPSHIRE:  Cats / Ellen Degeneres (TV host) / Fireworks / Free Kittens / Live Free or Die / Ron Paul

Analysis:  You can pet New Hampshire’s cats when you pry them from their cold, dead hands!

NEW JERSEY:  Bon Jovi / Britney Spears / Cure for Baldness / Girdles / New Jersey Jokes / Pantaloons / Six Pack Abs / Teletubbies / Thumb Wrestling

Analysis:  In New Jersey, nobody makes fun of your belly or bald spot when you’re the local thumb wrestling champ.

NEW MEXICO:  Frito Pie / Juggalos / Peyote / U.F.O.

Analysis:  Hopefully the U.F.O.s are just hear to abduct the Juggalos and they leave the Frito pie alone.

NEW YORK:  Bail Money / Bed Bugs / Bill Maher (comedian) / Darwinism / Fur Coats / George Michael (singer) / Hangover Remedy / Marrying Cousin / Propecia / Sniffing Glue

Analysis:  The saddest day in a New Yorker’s life is the day you raise bail money by selling your fur coat. 

NORTH CAROLINA:  Barbecue / Charles Barkley’s Golf Swing / White Snake (band) / Your Mama Jokes

Analysis:  People are just having a real nice time on the internet in ol’ North Carolina

NORTH DAKOTA:  Aliens / Chewing Tobacco / Curling / Fergie (singer) / Figure Skating / Mötley Crüe

Analysis:  They party differently in North Dakota.

OHIO:  Lebron James / Libertarian / P90X / Raccoon Hunting / Weight Watchers

Analysis:  A lot people in Ohio wondering what the Weight Watchers points are for a grilled raccoon.

OKLAHOMA:  Atheism / Benghazi / Miley Cyrus / Noodling / Obama Muslim / Pat Robertson / PT Cruiser

Analysis:  For anyone looking to make a coffee table book of anti-Obama stickers on the bumpers of PT Cruiser, the state to do it is Oklahoma. 

OREGON:  Allah / Sex / Spork

Analysis:  Somebody needs to go and check on Oregon.

PENNSYLVANIA:  Back Shaving / Beer / Competitive Eating / Eagles (band) / Freedom / Furries / Heroin / Jello Wrestling / Madden NFL (video game) / Malt Liquor / “Married With Children” (TV show), Major League Baseball / National Hockey League / Online Dating / Oxycodone / Partying / Taylor Swift (singer) / What is ketchup?

Analysis:  Might be time for the other state’s to organize an intervention for Pennsylvania.

RHODE ISLAND:  Andre the Giant / Beer Pong / Blumpkins / How to roll a blunt? / MSNBC

Analysis:  So is Rhode Island is just one big college fraternity?

SOUTH CAROLINA: The Benghazi Attack / Golf / Hootie & the Blowfish (band) / Nudist Colony

Analysis:  After a long day of golfing, the remaining members of Hootie & the Blowfish like to take off their clothes, watch some FOX News, and complain about Darius Rucker’s solo career. 

SOUTH DAKOTA: Nickelback

Analysis:  Just Nickelback. 

TENNESSEE:  Elvis Presley / Is my wife cheating?

Analysis:  Elvis left the building 37 years ago, possibly with your wife.

TEXAS:  Are dinosaurs real? / Are zombies real? / The Bill of Rights / Boogers / Calf Implants / Can dogs talk? / Chupacrabra / Curves International (company) / Do I have herpes? / Does beer make you fat? / Government Mind Control / How to cook meth? / How to sell your soul to the Devil? / Justin Bieber (singer) / Krunk / Meth Recipes / Porn / Purple Drank / Rodeo / Snake Bites / Tacos

Analysis:  Texas asks a lot of questions, has a worrisome level of interest in crystal meth, and probably a sore that should be looked at by doctor, but the Lone Star State also has a boatload of tacos. So many delicious tacos. 

UTAH:  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints / Def Leppard (band) / Demolition Derby / Girls Gone Wild / Global Warming Hoax / Jay Leno / Kama Sutra / Laser Hair Removal / Magic Tricks / Mustaches / Star Trek / Star Wars / Twinkie / Tinder / Twilight (book series) / Weird Al Yankovic (singer) / What is the internet?

Analysis:  Utah spends too much time on the internet. 

VERMONT:  Kale Recipe / Annie Lennox (musician) / “The Daily Show” (TV show) / Gwar (band) / Poetry / Phish (band) / LSD / Stephen Colbert

Analysis:  Perhaps it’s not surprising that Vermont is also the whitest state in America.

VIRGINIA:  Barney & Friends (TV show)/ Blackeyed Peas (music group) / Che Guevara / Evolution / Farmville / Shakira (singer)

Analysis:  Virginia, I love you, you love the Blackeyed Peas, this is why we can’t be a family.

WASHINGTON:  Circumcision / Dungeons & Dragons / Gluten / Judas Priest (band) / Non-Alcoholic Beer / Pho, Quinoa / Rachel Maddow (TV Host) / Unicorn Tattoo / Happy Hour /

Analysis:  At dinner parties in Washington state, it’s customary to follow the quinoa course a gluten-free dessert. After that, everyone retires to the library for a non-alcoholic beer and a casual conversation about circumcision. 

WEST VIRGINIA:  Anarchy / Belly Button Piercing / Cat Videos / Conspiracy Theories / Ferrets / Ghosts / How to make moonshine? / Infected Piercing / Meat Loaf Recipe / Methadone / Nancy Grace / Scabies / Second Amendment / Steroids / Vampires / Who let the dogs out?

Analysis:  If U.S. states were competing in “The Bachelor”, West Virginia would be the first to not receive a rose. 

WISCONSIN:  Beanie Babies / Green Party / Log Rolling / Menthol Cigarettes / Mike’s Hard Lemonade / Oprah’s Book Club / Survival Shelter

Analysis:  Wisconsin knows full well that in the event of an economic collapse, dollars will be replaced by a currency of cigarettes, alcohol, and Beanie Babies. 

WYOMING:  Ann Coulter / The Constitution / Crank / Rush Limbaugh / Sheep / Socialism

Analysis:  Not a fun state to be a liberal alpaca farmer.

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Estately is a national online real estate search site whose articles have been featured in the The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, CNET, San Francisco Chronicle, Time, GeekWire, The Denver Post, and more.

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OTHER ARTICLES BY ESTATELY

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The Absolute Douchiest Cities in America

  • Emma

    Lol, nailed Washington. But I do love me some Rachel Maddow and glutton free nummies. I also love Pho and D&D.

  • Emma

    Vermont sounds like fun. Same with Main

  • Philip Shepherd

    The reason people here in Utah spend so much time on the internet is that there’s not that much else to do. HELP IT’S BORING HERE.

  • Ceejay

    Very funny!!! I’m from Wisconsin and agree with you totally. You have to be very tolerant to put up with all those, particularly WI.

  • disqus_GUHF9WEukg

    Kentucky…really, you can’t remember the lyrics to Happy Birthday?

  • hdsjkfhdsjkl jkdshjkl

    is this real?

  • http://twitter.com/venkasub Venkatraman S

    How did you create this infographic-map? Looks like you just need to take any arbitrary set of keywords and just keep looking at the states/cities. Or did you do something ‘intelligent’? :)

  • Ryan_Estately

    Yes. These are the internet searches that people in each state do more than any other state.

  • Ryan_Estately

    We hired a dozen of the most respected scholars and statisticians to do a painstaking 10-year study on the search trends of Americans. Why, does it look like we just searched for a bunch of silly terms and phrases on Google Trends and then made a low-budget map with Photoshop Elements?

  • kaye

    TX also can’t spell chupacabra.

  • Michael Dotson

    And if you read the list you would know its not about the rapper.

  • Ace20xd6

    Well yeah that’s what the map looks like.

  • Carlos

    That’s why I left Oregon. Quite the dump.

  • kreiyu

    Delaware. Hi. I’m in Delaware…

  • pikach_kay

    I’d like to see something like this for the Canadian provinces. lol

  • allhailshrek

    Pain?

  • Knight0192

    Pretty sure PCP means Primary Care Physician, but it is funner the other way.

  • Editor

    Umm, you put “fast foot” It’s supposed to be “food”(On Michigan Analysis). Or do you mean meeting for a swift kick to the rear?

  • Unknown

    Sounds like Oklahoma is the only one watching what the nut jobs in DC are really up to.

  • Linda Swearingen

    Yea, your analysis is a great deduction regarding Oregon….living here, I know….so….HELP!!

  • Ricky

    Louisiana – “Golden Girls” is the name of the LSU Cheerleaders, thus the search popularity. I doubt it has to do with Bea Arthur and retired old ladies from the 80’s.

  • zedge

    What a bunch of hogwash, most of it isn’t even funny.

  • Olivia

    We love our pizza in Illinois lol

  • ben lightner

    Is this where I post a butthurt comment defending my state from mean jokes?

  • Steampunk Sweetheart

    You know, North Carolina doesn’t sound so bad…and Oregon is my favorite. Yes, it is time we go check on Oregon.

  • poopsicle

    That’s actually a much nicer depiction than the truth. The truth being that Delaware has the largest collection of absolute morons I’ve ever seen in all my travels across the states.

  • Christine Burgan

    Lyrics to Happy Birthday?! Really, Kentucky?

  • Elizabeth Marie Rockefeller

    (Nebraskan) I thought Drake was in Missouri. I even looked at that college some.