Hair Plugs & Convertibles: The Geography of the Midlife Crisis

Ryan Nickum

Feb 1

Lists + Maps

midlife-crisis-cover

A midlife crisis is not uncommon in men as they round second base in the baseball game that is life. Caused by a sudden awareness of one’s mortality and regrets about missteps can cause men to behave in absurd, but painfully stereotypical ways. Whether it’s ditching a spouse to chase younger women, trading in the minivan for a convertible or motorcycle, or spending the kids’ college fund on some new hair plugs, a midlife crisis can cause men to do some strange things.

Estately set out to determine which metropolitan areas have the most men in the throes of a stereotypical midlife crisis. To do this we ranked the 25 largest metros in the U.S. from 1-25 based on the following five criteria.

  • Frequency of online searches for terms/medicines/companies related to hair loss treatments—Hair Club, Bosley, hair transplant, hair restoration, Minoxidil, and Propecia (source: Google Trends)
  • Percentage of recent Craigslist ads for “men seeking women” that specify the woman must be younger (source: Craigslist)
  • Percentage of Facebook users ages 35-55 who recently purchased a new or used motorcycle (source:  Facebook user data)
  • Cities with a higher ratio of divorce lawyers to marriage/family counselors (source: Yellow Pages)
  • Percentage of area new cars for sale that are convertibles (source: Cars.com)

midlife crisis chart

 

Our results show the midlife crisis phenomenon is scattered around the country, and not centered in any one particular region. However, these metropolitan areas ranked highest for men having a midlife crisis.

 

1. DallasFort WorthArlington

When it comes to masking hair loss and seeking the company of younger women, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has plenty of company in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Not only does the area rank in the top ten in four out of five categories, it also Googles “low testosterone” more than any other metro area. All this combined allows the Metroplex to take home the title of the Midlife Crisis Capital of the United States

2. AtlantaSandy SpringsRoswell

Atlanta has more than twice as many divorce attorneys as it does marriage and family counselors—the highest ratio of any of the 25 largest metro areas. Marriage counseling is known to work as a speed bump to middle-aged men racing to get divorced so they can chase younger women.

3. PhoenixMesaScottsdale

Many a Phoenix-area man dreams of rising from the ashes of middle aged misery to reclaim his youth. Unfortunately, that seems to consist of buying a motorcycle and looking up ex-girlfriends from high school on Classmates.com.

4. MiamiFort LauderdaleWest Palm Beach

Not everyone in South Florida can wait until they’re widowed in a nursing home to jump back into the dating scene. Some have to rush in while they still have a patch of sparse hair on their rapidly thinning scalp.

5. ChicagoNapervilleElgin

Given that Chicago area residents Google “toupée” and “hair piece” more than any other major metropolitan area it’s no surprise residents of The Windy City don’t crack the top ten in convertibles for sale.

6. New YorkNewarkJersey City

It’s not surprising that the city that gave us Donald Trump, America’s midlife-crisis-come-to-life-presidential-candidate, would rank in the top ten. It’s also not surprising New York Googles “dating younger women” more than people in other metros.

7. Los AngelesLong BeachAnaheim

If any place provides anecdotal evidence that an older man with a sports car can date someone half their age it’s Hollywood. So perhaps it’s no surprise so many of the Los Angeles area’s middle-aged men have succumbed to the midlife crisis.

8. PhiladelphiaCamdenWilmington

Judging from their Craigslist ads. there’s no shortage of Philly-area men on the prowl for younger women. For the divorced men in that group, the odds are good. According to 2014 Census data, there more than 7.6 never-married women for every one divorced man.

9. MinneapolisSt. PaulBloomington

When the sun is out, Minnesota’s middle agers in crisis mode like to hop on their motorcycles, roll up their sleeves, and show off their cool tattoos. Minneapolis residents Google “cool tattoos” more than those in any other major metro.

10. San FranciscoOaklandHayward

Who’s the creepy dude riding through the office on his kick scooter? The same guy driving over the Bay Bridge in his convertible reminiscing about that epic Green Day concert.

 

 

If you’re not spending your hard-earned cash on hair plugs and sports cars then perhaps you’re saving for a new home? Estately.com and the Estately iPhone App are the best ways to search for your dream home. Download it today!

house-app2

estately_iphone_app_download_app_store_button-7ef8bb748a52c2b231b2fe428a5f15de

 

Related Articles

worst states3

Finally, All 50 States Ranked from Worst to Best

Attempting to rank all 50 U.S. states (and the District of Columbia) from worst to best is definitely a challenge. There are so many things to factor in and people will definitely criticize for being subjective... until now. Somehow Estately accomplished the impossible and has successfully ranked each state from absolute worst to complete best using the following eight factors.

Read more
america map

You’ll Find the Most Stereotypical Americans in These States

The stereotype of Americans is we're all we're highly religious and wealthy consumers who spend our time firing guns, driving vehicles, stuffing our faces, watching reality TV, and generally avoiding traveling to or learning about anything beyond our borders. But where is this stereotype most fitting?

Read more
Doughnut-1023029-m-1

America’s Best and Worst Cities for Donuts

Ease of finding quality crullers should be a top priority when choosing where to live, so we analyzed Yelp data to determine America's best and worst cities for donuts.

Read more
zombie featured image

Does Your State Have What it Takes to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse?

There are so many factors to consider when choosing where to buy a home, but here at Estately we don't want the potential zombie apocalypse to be one of them. That's why we've mapped out which states are the safest to live in should an army of the undead suddenly appear.

Read more
funny-town-name-social2

The Complete List of Lewd-Sounding Town Names in America

Estately created a new map showcasing the lewdest, most sexualized town names in each U.S. state. To do this, we placed our minds in the gutter and spent days looking over detailed maps and scrutinizing the names of all cities, towns, and unincorporated communities for anything that sounded even remotely sexual or perverse.

Read more
7251544360_fa2ccd0a3e_b_jpg__1024×809_

America’s 5 Best and Worst Cities for Hamburgers

Saturday is National Hamburger Day, and here at Estately, we take burgers very seriously. So seriously in fact, that we combed through Yelp data to create this attractive map of America's best and worst cities for burgers.

Read more