Which Canadian Provinces Offer the Best Odds of Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse?

Ryan Nickum

Jul 22

Lists + Maps

CA-Zombie-Map

For many Americans nervously watching this year’s presidential campaign the idea of moving to Canada is gaining greater traction. However, there are so many factors to consider when choosing where to buy a home in Canada—average home price, weather, and obviously the odds of surviving a zombie apocalypse. That’s why Estately Real Estate Search mapped out which Canadian provinces offer the greatest chance of survival should an army of the undead suddenly rise from their graves in search of brains to eat. To do this, we ranked each province from 1-13 using the following five criteria, and then averaged the results to create our final ranking.

  • Fewest people per square mile (source: STATCAN)
    • Because of their population density, urban areas are zombie breeding grounds, whereas rural areas are far safer.
  • Gun owners per capita (source: Royal Canadian Mounted Police)
    • The most efficient way to stop a horde of zombies coming to eat your brains is with a gun.
  • Percentage who are cremated instead of buried (source: National Funeral Directors Association)
    • A corpse can’t rise from the grave to join an army of the undead if it’s been cremated. Thus, states with higher rates of cremations to burials will have fewer zombies.
  • Percentage of population that is physically active (source: STATCAN)
    • You can’t outrun a zombie horde if you’re stopping to catch your breath every 30 feet.
  • Interest in the zombie media genre (source: Google Trends)
    • Those with an interest in all things zombie-related will have more knowledge of how to defeat zombies, so states with populations that Google zombie movies and TV shows more than others probably have an abundance of zombie experts.

CA zombie chart

In the end, Yukon is the best equipped to fend off the zombie menace, whereas Prince Edward Island is destined to be an all-you-can-eat brain buffet. The West offers the best overall odds, where as Eastern Canada looks to be doomed.