For the slanderous, Philadelphia is still Killadelphia, a Gotham-like city overrun with filth and crime, where school children pelt you with batteries. However, for Philly enthusiasts it’s a sunnier, less-expensive alternative to New York City, a culinary wonderland where the Schuylkill River flows golden with Cheez Whiz. So which one is it? Before you decide to relocate and buy a home in the City of Brotherly Love read Estately’s list of 37 things to consider before moving to Philadelphia…

1. You May Find Your Better Half

Philadelphia is an excellent city for lonely singles looking for love (6th best in America), or for anyone looking to form a dynamic duo. For example, Daryl Hall and John Oates were just a couple of Philly kids in a band competition who met while running for cover during a shootout between two rival gangs. The pair hid in a service elevator, talked about music, became roommates, started the rock and soul band Hall & Oates, and have been making our dreams come true ever since. Are you’re a lonely Daryl Hall seeking a John Oates of your own? That person is probably somewhere in Philadelphia waiting for you.

2. Freedom—Born & Bred In Philly

Boston may have had the tea party, but American democracy was born in Philadelphia. The city served as capital during the Revolutionary War, and while Washington, DC was under construction. The Constitution and the Declaration of Independence were both signed in Philadelphia, it was the home of Benjamin Franklin, and Betsy Ross made one heck of a flag there.

3. Affordable Homes

The median home price for the Philadelphia area is $240,000, which is considerably less than the New York Metropolitan Area’s $440,000. In addition, there are plenty of Philly homes perfectly for priced for those looking to fix up a place with little money down. With the money saved, you can decorate your home however you choose, but vintage doors, taxidermy, and homemade wood paneling like in this home are highly recommended. Also, catch up on the local real estate scene with these two great blogs:  Curbed Philadelphia and Philly Magazine’s real estate blog Property.

4. Beer, Glorious Beer

From the early days of the Founding Fathers to today, Philly has always been a beer town. The area is home to Yuengling (Pottsville), the oldest brewery in America, as well as a number of newer microbreweries. The city has anointed itself with the title of “Best Beer-Drinking City in America,” and to prove it they put on Philly Beer Week, an annual ten-day suds celebration that’s the largest of its kind in America.

5. Fly Eagles Fly

Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan looking to leave your loved ones a substantial life insurance policy? If so, Philadelphia is the perfect city to advertise your allegiance to Jerry Jones. Philadelphia is a serious football town and Eagles fans are known nationwide for being some of the most intense. Sure, they pelted Santa Claus with snowballs during a halftime show, and yeah, Lincoln Financial Field originally had a four-cell jail built into it, but Eagles fans have been through a lot. However, there’s hope that a new era is being ushered in by rookie head coach Chip Kelly. This long-suffering football town will eventually win a Super Bowl and when it does it’s going to be one hell of a party.

6. 8th Safest City From Natural Disasters

Sea levels rise, volcanos go boom, and earthquakes shake, but Philadelphia just kicks back and relaxes in its relatively safe spot in the Delaware Valley. Not everything is safe in Philly, but tornadoes rarely drop from the sky and it’s far enough inland that it doesn’t bare the brunt of hurricanes.

7. Chance Of Murder

Natural disasters may be unlikely, but unfortunately there are other dangers. In 2012 alone, there were 331 murders, so on average you’ve got a roughly 0.02% chance of being murdered each year.

8. Yo, Check Out This Art

Philadelphia is home to more public art than any other city in the country, and boasts world-class museums like the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the Rodin Museum, and many others. Philly also takes its art to the street, encouraging large, public murals through its Mural Arts Program.

9. The Awesome Fest

It would be disappointing if The Awesome Fest failed to live up to its name, but The Awesome Fest is indeed awesome. This roaming film series shows awesome movies in non-traditional spaces all over the city. Basically, it provides opportunities to watch Revenge of the Nerds at Drexel Park. Awesome.

10. BYOB

Due to some arcane liquor laws on the books in Philadelphia, you have to purchase liquor at state-run liquor stores and you can’t buy beer at the grocery store. Due to restrictions on liquor licenses, many local restaurants can’t even sell alcohol, but many allow you customers to bring their own beer, wine, and even liquor. These BYOB restaurants actually save the customer considerable cash because alcohol is usually marked up considerably.

11. Homes With Basement Bars

Like nowhere else in America, Philadelphia-area homes commonly feature a bar in the basement. These subterranean speakeasies ensure that when the weather outside is frightful you can still be cozy, boozy, and secure in your home. View more of Philly’s basement bars HERE.

12. Underground Exploration

Bars aren’t the only things going on underground. There’s a labyrinth of pedestrian concourses and tunnels, as well as sewers and abandoned subway tunnels. If any city could be home to  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles it’s Philly. This hidden, underground city is known only to a small number of people, but maybe that’s because of alligator sightings near the sewers, or is it because the heroes in a half shell prefer it that way?

13. Cash Only

Lots of restaurants and shops refuse to take credit or debit cards because they’re totally old school, or else because they’re in the pocket of some kind of money clip mafia. There are 15 different money clips for sale at Philadelphia-based Etsy stores, more than double that of Boston. Coincidence?

14. Nicknames

Philadelphia is known as the City of Brotherly Love, which it turns out is from the Greek words philos (loving) and adelphos (brother). Other monikers include Quaker City, The City That Loves You Back, Land of 10,000 Odors, Cradle of Liberty, Gateway to Glenside, Big P, Killadelphia, Birthplace of America, and West Camden.

15. City Of Brotherly Love Handles

Women’s Health Magazine declared Philly the #2 least healthy city in America in 2013, and Men’s Fitness recently named it the 14th fattest, but don’t go overboard. The average Philly resident may pack on a few extra pounds, but some of that is because the food is so damn good. Yes, locals could eat a few less soft pretzels for breakfast, but city residents are getting more active and childhood obesity rates are dropping. Still, if you’re going to put a few pounds on there is no better way to do it than with delicious Philly food.

16. 710 Calories In An 8″ Cheesesteak

Do you know the origins of Philly’s famed cheesesteak? Back in 1775, Benjamin Franklin invented a sandwich to feed to British troops quartered in American homes. Loaded with sautéed beef and melted cheese, this delicious gut bomb lulled the lethargic British into naps, allowing the revolutionaries to easily defeat them. Either that or it was invented by hot dog vendor Pat Olivieri in 1930. Who knows? History is fluid.

17. Incredible Chefs

Philadelphia has everything necessary to be a world-class culinary city. Located in close proximity to the Jersey Shore and the farms of Lancaster, Philly is a hub for fresh seafood, meats and produce. The city has welcomed wave after wave of immigrant from around the world so there’s multiple culinary traditions to draw inspiration from. And finally it’s loaded with star chefs, including Iron Chefs Masaharu Mormoto and Jose Garces, as well local talents like Jason Cichonski, Ela; Chris Kearse, Will; Joshua Lawler, The Farmer and the Fisherman; Kevins Sbraga, Sbraga; Lee Styer, Fond; Greg Vernick, Vernick Food & Drink; Mike Solomonov, Zahav; Joe Cicala, Le Virtu; and Joey Baldino, Zeppoli. So there’s a lot of them.

18. It’s Not New York City

Philadelphia has historically been a little touchy when compared to New York City, which is an apparent bench mark for any East Coast city. However, Philly has gotten its groove back of late and begun to welcome the comparison. Philadelphia offers many of the urban amenities of New York, but at a fraction of the price. Thousands of artists, hipsters, and other creative sorts have been abandoning Brooklyn and the other four boroughs for a new life in Philadelphia. The migration has lead many to speculate that Philadelphia is about to become the next Brooklyn. And since it’s only 71 minutes away by speedy commuter train, it’s actually possible to live in Philly and commute to New York City.

19. Democrat Oasis

Pennsylvania may be a swing state, but Philadelphia is one of the bluest cities in America. The solidly Democrat-voting city hasn’t elected a republican mayor since 1952 and President Obama received 85 of the vote in the 2012 election.

20. You Might Go To Prison

Your recently paroled cousin was correct; prison can be a really scary place. While Philly’s Eastern State Penitentiary is no longer home to inmates, it is now run like a giant haunted house. Be warned though, in addition to the actors posing as ghosts and ghouls, there are frequent actual ghost sightings at the prison and it remains popular with professional ghost hunters.

21. Giant Wooden Slide

A childhood right of passage for many, you’re not truly a local until you’ve descended the Ann Newman Giant Wooden Slide. No word on risk of splinters.

22. Walkability

According to Walk Score, Philadelphia is the 5th most walkable large city in the country so you can skip the car altogether if you want and get by on foot power and mass transit.

23. Filthadelphia No More

Philly is a major city with an industrial past so it’s not going to suddenly appear at the top of any Greenest City lists. However, it’s a little unfair that Forbes ranked it third on its list of America’s Dirtiest Cities because of poor air and water quality. The city is getting cleaner—especially its streets—and we suspect this low ranking has more to do with the chew spit and trail of filth Lenny Dykstra left behind during his years with the Phillies.

24. It’s Not Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Did you see what we did with the title above? We did what everyone outside of Philadelphia does when they write about Philly, they make a stupid play on the name of the TV show It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Great show, but this word play is very predictable, but sadly obligatory…

Anyway, Philly’s weather calls for a chance of sunshine on 56% of days, far worse than Las Vegas’ 85%, but much better than Seattle’s 43%. While many claim it rains batteries and snowballs in Philly’s sports stadiums (historically accurate), the truth is Philadelphia receives an average of 42 inches of rainfall each year. Unfortunately, the rainiest month is July because Philadelphia weather apparently has some deep-seeded hatred for summer picnics.

25. Toughness

Philly residents are known far and wide for their toughness, but what few people mention is that they are also outstanding huggers. It’s definitely a bear hug, but it’s a hug that will make you feel warm, safe, and secure, unless your pocket gets picked in the process.

26. Adrian!!!!

The fictional boxer Rocky Balboa will forever be linked to Philadelphia, the city where the film was set. The famous Rocky Statue is located at the top of the “Rocky Steps” near the entrance of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Having your picture taken there is a classic tourist move, but a true Rocky fan can best them all and buy the ultimate souvenir—the Philadelphia house where part of Rocky II was filmed. Click the image below to see the Estately listing for the house.

27. Phillie Phanatic

Philly sports fans are well known for being fanatics, but the most famous fanatic of them all is the Phillie Phanatic. This over-sized green bi-pedal creature is the Philadelphia Phillies’ mascot, and probably the most famous mascot in all of American sports. Not only does he harass visiting teams and umpires with his amusing antics, he also drives an ATV and fires hot dogs into the crowd with a pneumatic gun. But just because he’s big and lovable doesn’t mean he’ll be your friend. He can get a restraining order if you call, text, and email him dozens of times to attend your birthday party.

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT PHILADELPHIA HOMES CURRENTLY FOR SALE

28. 4th Most Bikeable U.S. City

First off, do you know who made bicycling look really cool? Philadelphia-native Kevin Bacon in the movie Quicksilver. Secondly, according to Bicycling Magazine Philadelphia has the most bicycle commuters per capita of the ten largest U.S. cities, and one of the highest percentage of female cyclists nationwide. Fairmount Park has 215 miles of recreational and mountain-bike trails, and there’s a 22 mile road to Valley Forge that’s mostly paved for road bikes.

29. Very Jamaican

Philadelphia is home to the second-largest Jamaican population of any city in the United States. Not only does that mean dozens of Jamaican restaurants and delicious jerk chicken, but it also means you won’t have to search far and wide for Jamaican music clubs playing dancehall, which are sort of hard to come by in other cities.

30. Philadelphia Flyers

Philadelphia is one of 12 U.S. cities with teams from the four major sports leagues—NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL. The Philadelphia Flyers last won the Stanley Cup during the 1974-1975 season so they’re due. Plus, they skate real pretty like bulked up Michelle Kwans with mullets.

31. America’s Bacon Capital

Philadelphia was recently declared the #1 U.S. City for Bacon Lovers by Estately in recognition of the city’s many culinary baconteurs. The sixth largest bacon consumer in the country, Philadelphia restaurants have made taco shells out of bacon, invented the Turbacon, and even chicken fry this beloved meat candy.

32. University Town

With 17 four-year colleges and universities Philadelphia is positively littered with institutions of higher learning, and some solid college hoops teams. Just imagine all the fun parties and pranks to be had at University of Pennsylvania, Drexel University, La Salle University, Temple University, St. Joseph’s, and nearby Villanova.

33. Tastykake

Ask a local and they’ll tell you “Nobody bakes a cake as tasty as a Tastykake.” Whether this is true or not is certainly up for debate, but the revered Tastykake is an iconic Philly brand. The late rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard even included it in his lyrics: “As I create, rhymes good as a Tastykake.” You don’t have to like Tastykakes, but you at least have to try them, preferably the Butterscotch Krimpets. Also, ask the locals to explain what water ice is.

34. It’s A Hoagie

Want to know what a delicious submarine sandwich in Philly? They call it a hoagie. There are no grinders in Philadelphia, only hoagies. You want to order a hero sandwich? It’s pronounced hoa·gie. It’s named for the sandwiches the workers on Hog Island used to eat, and if you don’t believe that there are a dozen other theories for the name’s origins.

35. Fairmont Park

Philadelphia is a major city, but you can still fish from piers, go horseback riding, and hike in the woods thanks to Fairmount Park. The sprawling 9,200 acres makes up 10% of the city and houses 63 separate parks, with everything from golf courses and off-road cycling trails to environmental learning centers and the Philadelphia Zoo.

36. You Know That Song

You know the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air performed by Will Smith? Of course you do. Do you know what happens when you tell someone from somewhere else you live in Philadelphia? They sing a few lines from that song to you. If you move to Philly that’s going to happen to you as well, even if you’re not West Philadelphia born and raised, and spent little to no time on the playground.

37. Most Incredible Roots Band

Philadelphia has a storied music history—Billie Holliday was born there—and there are dozens of famous musical acts with roots there, including The Roots. Also of note… Dick Clark, Boyz II Men, Dead Milkmen, Patti LaBelle, Teddy Pendergrass, DJ Jazzy Jeff, Chubby Checker, G. Love, Jill Scott, Beanie Sigel, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, Joan Jett, and Hall & Oates.

DID WE FORGET ANYTHING? LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.

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America loves bacon. We eat it for breakfast, dip it in chocolate, and even flavor our popcorn with it. But which city reveres smoky, sizzling swine enough to earn the title of The Bacon Capital of America?

We factored in the top bacon producers and consumers, and then sought out bacon-themed festivals, creative culinary uses of bacon, and bacon innovators to determine the top 13 cities for bacon lovers to live. Here are the results…

#13 Baltimore, MD

The Baltimore area is the fourth largest bacon market in the country so the smell of frying bacon is never far away. Only in Baltimore can you order bacon on a stick at the ballpark, chewing on delicious meat candy while watching the Baltimore Orioles play at Camden Yards.

• Local bar Bad Decisions hosts a monthly Bacon Happy Hour in which baskets of complimentary bacon are served from 5-11pm.  There’s also an All Day bacon Brunch.
• Baltimore has two restaurants featured on the bacon-themed TV show United States of Bacon.

#12 Boston, MA

Boston baked beans call for a generous helping of bacon, but the city doesn’t stop there when it comes to its bacon enthusiasm. Beantown celebrates bacon with the popular Boston Bacon and Beer Festival, Bacon Palooza, and even Bacon de Mayo. But most importantly Boston is home to Harry’s Bar & Grill, which invented Irish Nachos—waffle fries covered in applewood-smoked bacon, sour cream, cheeses, and more.

• Home of the Boston Bacon Society, a small but determined group dedicated to the cause of bacon.
• Roxy’s Grilled Cheese in nearby brighton has the good sense to serve the Green Muenster Melt, which comes with a surprise slice of bacon inside.
• You can even buy a house on Bacon Street, or perhaps the Jeremiah Bacon House and convert one of the stone barns into a smokehouse for making bacon.

#11 Charleston, SC

The New York Times described Charleston as “a town afloat on bacon-washed bourbon,” which is kind of the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said about a city. But Charleston earns the compliment with its unique regional cuisine relying heavily on its beloved bacon.

• Jeremiah Bacon is Charleston’s nationally acclaimed chef and local boy made good. His restaurant The Macintosh offers a Bacon Happy Hour that’s just the tip of the culinary iceberg for Charleston.
• Ted’s Butcher Block offers 11 types of bacon, as well as a bacon of the month club.
• Take a trip to Camp Bacon with local author and James Beard Award-winner Ari Weinzweig’s with his book Zingerman’s Guide to Better Bacon.

#10 San Diego, CA

It’s a little surprising to discover San Diego of all places is so dedicated to the cause of bacon, but they earned a place on the list with inventive bacon creations that display genuine bacon enthusiasm. The city also hosts the Big Bite Bacon Fest, San Diego Bacon Fest, and smaller events at area restaurants.

• A Maple Bacon S’More Bar can be found at barleymash. It might just change the world forever.
• Sushi restaurant Sabuku offers seven types of bacon sushi rolls. Seven.
• Quality Social invented a bacon Manhattan cocktail that perfectly marries bacon and bourbon. And they lived happily ever after.

#9 Kansas City, MO

The legendary barbecue metropolis of Kansas City loves its meat. All meat. Especially bacon. They fry their cabbage in it, they take it tailgating at Arrowhead Stadium, and before they close their eyes at night they whisper softly to bacon that they love it. Don’t believe that? Well, check out Kansas City’s Bacon-Fest to witness that bacon devotion firsthand. The festival combines beer, bands, and bacon to create a sumptuous soiree of swine.

The area may be best known amongst bacon aficionados as the birthplace of the Bacon Explosion, a football-sized behemoth that’s essentially bacon wrapped in sausage and then swaddled in more in bacon and then cooked to bacony perfection.

• The Kansas City Annual Bacon Ball Tournament is a fundraiser in which law enforcement softball teams from throughout the Midwest battle it out.

#8 Portland, OR

Despite the high number of vegan residents eating soy bacon instead of the real thing, the carnivores make up for it with unbridled enthusiasm for Portland’s forbidden flesh. The city hosts bacon celebrations like the PDX Baconfest and Bacon Cup, as well numerous bacon-themed events.

• Home to online retailer Bacn.com.
• Bacon Skateboards is a local skate company’s brand.
• The local tavern Saraveza has a free bacon night.
• Bacon Lovers of Oregon offers inclusion and community to bacon enthusiasts.
• Was Voodoo Doughnuts the first to put bacon on a maple bar? It’s possible.
• Here’s a list of 37 things to consider before moving to Portland.

#7 Seattle, WA

No other city has as many influential bacontrepreneurs as Seattle. The city is home to J&D’s, creators of a host of bacon-themed products like Bacon Salt, Baconnaise, and even a bacon coffin—perfect for those who love bacon to death. Four area restaurants were featured on United States of Bacon, and there’s an excellent Bacon Happy Hour at Local 360. The city even hosts an annual Bacon Bowl in which local law enforcement battles it out in a game of tackle football.

• Want bacon from a true pot-bellied pig? Pike Place Market butcher William von Schneidau sells marijuana-infused bacon made from pot-fed pigs (article).
• There’s a giant metal pig named Maximus Minimus that roams the streets feeding pedestrians.
• Black Rock Spirits invented Bakon Vodka, and Skillet puts out a fantastic Bacon Jam.
• Local novelty store Archie McPhee has it’s own online Bacon Store.
• White Moustache puts on The Pork Parade, an urban adventure food tour where every stop includes a bite of pork because that’s awesome.
• Jones Soda makes Bacon Soda.

#6 Houston, TX

It seems everyday is Bacon Appreciation Day in Houston. The city’s culinary innovators keep finding new ways to celebrate the wonder that is bacon. Chicken fried bacon? BRC Gastropub thought that up long ago. House-made bacon onion jam? You can get it on a bacon-wrapped hot dog at The Burger Guys. Bacon-battered corn dogs? You can get that and BACON COTTON CANDY at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo Carnival.

• Houston is the #7 bacon market in America.
• Can’t eat pork? Chef Bryan Caswell of Reef cures his own tuna bacon.
• Killen’s Steakhouse features bacon dust as an ingredient in some dishes.
• Houston bested Dallas because Dallas is disqualified for being home to Paul Quinn College, which banned all pork from campus.

#5 Madison, WI

Home to Oscar Mayer headquarters and a bacon-centric population, Madison may be a town that runs on bacon. The local university has a student-employed meat processing facility on campus, and a recent Bike-to-Work Day saw a local bike company handing out bacon slices to commuters.

• The Polka Fest and Beer, Bacon & Cheese Festival takes place in nearby New Glarus.
• Local shop The Pipefitter has an entire page dedicated to bacon on its online store.
• The city’s Underground Food Collective offers bacon-making classes.
• Wando’s Bar provides free bacon with drinks on Tuesday nights, as well as $1 canned beers.

#4 Los Angeles, CA

Los Angeles would probably win the title of Bacon Capital of America were it not for the city’s ban on mobile food vendors serving Danger Dogs—a bacon-wrapped hot dog that’s the official hot dog of Los Angeles. On the upside, the city is the #2 bacon market in America, and it plays host to bacon-themed events like the LA Bacon Festival and a popular Bacon Social.

• The Institute of Domestic Technology and Cast Iron Gourmet offer classes on bacon curing for DIYers.
• You can buy “Bacon Crack” in Los Angeles for just $8 a hit.
• Home to BaconFreak.com, an online bacon retailer that began as a “Bacon Is Meat Candy” Bacon Club.
• Dozens of restaurants serve bacon-themed dishes like bacon-wrapped bacon, bacon sticky buns, bacon-wrapped matzo balls, popcorn bacon, and The ‘Merica—a 100% ground bacon burger topped with more bacon, bacon cheddar sauce, and bacon ketchup.
• Sweet Rose Creamery is famed for its bacon ice cream slider.
• Four restaurants featured on United States of Bacon.
• Los Angeles bested San Francisco because that city was disqualified after a local bacon restaurant called Bacon Bacon was shut down after neighbors complained about the smell of bacon. Seriously.

#3 Des Moines, IA

For those who truly love bacon, why not live as close to the bacon source as possible? Iowa produces more bacon than any other state by far, something this bacon-loving country owes them a debt of gratitude for.

Well before bacon became trendy, the good people of Iowa were celebrating swine. Since 2001, the state has hosted the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival, the world’s premier bacon festival. Unfortunately, the state is also home to the Bacon Bandit, a burglar who makes off with the family bacon and sausage. He or she remains at large.

• The High Life Lounge serves bacon-wrapped tater tots—tater tots stuffed in a jalapeño, wrapped in bacon and fried, and then smothered with cheese. It’s a beautiful thing and an integral part of living the high life.
• Des Moines is home to four restaurants featured on United States of Bacon.
• Legend has it “Des Moines” is an old Finnish phrase meaning “Bacon Paradise.” Having trouble verifying that.

#2 Chicago, IL

The cold wind off the lake simply spreads the smell of sizzling bacon all over Chicago. A city known for its sausage still finds plenty of stomach space for crispy, delicious bacon. Chicago celebrates this fat of the gods with bacon-themed festivals like Baconfest Chicago and Beer & Bacon Fest, bacon-themed restaurants like Paddy Long’s, and dozens of innovative bacon dishes from the city’s incredible restaurants.

• Illinois is the second largest producer of pork in America.
  
• Chicago-based Sky Full of Bacon is a James Beard Award-winning blog/vidcast that is pretty awesome.
• Try deep-dish bacon pizza at Gino’s, a triple-decker BLT at the Green Door Tavern, and the B-L-Turtle Burger at Morrie O’Malley’s.
• Chicago-based Big Fork invented bacon sausage and the world swooned.

• Fargginay is a Chicago-based company hawking bacõn, a bacon-scented cologne that could get you attacked by hungry dogs.

#1 Philadelphia, PA

Like an overstuffed piñata, Philadelphia is postively bursting with bacon. They slip it in cheesesteaks, create restaurant color schemes based on it, heck, the city even raised actor KEVIN BACON up to be six degrees of celebrity he is today. Philly wraps its meat loaf in bacon, it crumble it on sticky buns, and it even chicken fries bacon because Philly’s chefs outrank the city’s cardiologists.

• Philly is the sixth largest bacon market in America.
• Three area restaurants have been featured on United States of Bacon.
• Local burger chain PYT made a taco shell out of bacon because this is Philadelphia and anything bacon is possible in Philadelphia.
• Dip your deep-fried oysters in bacon aioli at Cochon (French for “pig”).
• The father of modern Philadelphia was famed city planner Edmund Bacon, father of Kevin Bacon.
• Jake’s Sandwich Board is famed for its Turbacon, a sandwich version of a Turducken, but with smoked pork in place of duck.
• Click here if you want to move to this bacon metropolis.

Find your dream home in the bacon city of your choosing with Estately’s real estate search—CLICK HERE.

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From the logging towns of Oregon to the hipster bars of Brooklyn, people dream of moving to Portland, Oregon. Drawn like moths to the flame of craft beer and environmental sustainability, these aspiring transplants dream of a utopia of low home prices and artistic opportunity. However, only a select few of those will actually make the trek, and even fewer will find work, grow handlebar mustaches, and start their own food cart. Is Portland for everyone? Hardly, but the Portland myth, perpetuated by the New York Times and others, does sound incredibly tempting. So before you pack your bags, here are 37 things to consider before moving to Portland.

Can You Tolerate Nudity?

For a city largely populated by pasty, pale people, Portland (points for alliteration) sure likes to get naked. Thanks to a 1985 Oregon Court of Appeals ruling, local nudity laws don’t apply in cases of protest. Thus, Naked City USA has seen an area man strip naked at in an airport security line to protest the TSA and an annual naked bike ride that features 10,000 nudists pedaling around town. In Portland, it’s actually legal to ride a bike naked, but illegal to not wear a helmet. Apparently, the government will not protect its citizens from road rash. There’s also a nudist club that hosts a bare bowling event, a thriving burlesque scene, and don’t forget Portland has over 50 strip clubs, which is a lot for a city its size.

Gluten Shortage?

A cursory glance of area menus and you’ll discover there’s a serious gluten shortage affecting Portland. The city is so lacking in gluten that it’s created gluten-free food fairs, gluten-free vodka, and entire restaurants and food carts completely devoid of gluten. Of course if you have an actual gluten allergy—or simply aspire to have one—then Portland is your gluten-free heaven.

Whitest Major City In America

If Portland were a Baskin Robbins, 24 of the 31 flavors would be vanilla.

Least Religious City In America

Only 32% of Portlanders identify as being religious adherent, the least in America. While the locals aren’t often found at church, synagogue or mosque, the city does congregate in other ways, including at the 24 Hour Church of Elvis. Portland hosts a variety of public spectacles, including an Urban Iditarod where costumed groups race shopping carts for miles through Portland, stopping only to rehydrate at various bars and pubs. There’s also an adult soap box derby, numerous beer festivals, nude bike rides, Star Wars-themed bar crawls, zombie walks, a pirate festival and plenty more.

Can You Grow Facial Hair?

So much has been made of Portland residents propensity to don a beard or mustache that many feel painfully out of place without one. The steampunks, hippies, hipsters, and those who fetishize loggers all appear devoted to the cause of growing facial hair. The city is even home to to the Portland Mustache & Beard Club, the Stumptown Stash & Beard Collective, and the Beautiful Bearded Lady Competition.

Little Farms In The City

Residents are within their legal right to to keep and bear farm animals. The limit is three or fewer chickens, ducks, doves, pigeons, pygmy goats, or rabbits on their property. Those who want pigs, can only keep one Vietnamese Miniature Pot-Bellied Pig with maximum shoulder height of 18 inches, and weighing no more than 95 lbs, so no fatties bacon fans. Absolutely no roosters. Cows or llamas require a special permit. Same for bees. Read all the rules here.

You’ll Never Pump Your Own Gas

You may never be able to hire a trusted man servant named Stanley, but imagine the luxury of never having to pump your own gas? In Oregon, only the station’s attendant may legally operate the pump thanks to a state law forbidding the driver from doing it on supposed safety grounds, Do it yourself and you’ll get slapped with a $500 fine.

Rain, Rain, Rain…

You know how a long shower is invigorating? Nine months of near constant rain is nothing like that. Amongst major American cities, Portland has the third highest number of rainy days per year. Clouds routinely hide the sun for months and unleash a steady drizzle that keeps the city green, but the sky so very gray. So gray. Some people kind of like it, but they keep it to themselves.

Live Music

You know that band people are talking about that you’ve never heard of? Well they’re from Portland. And so is Blitzen Trapper, Carrie Brownstein, The Shins, The Decemberists, Elliott Smith, Laura Veirs, Pink Martini, Stars of Track and Field, The Dandy Warhols, The Thermals, and a whole lot more. The city has a thriving music scene and if you’d like to join a local band Craigslist lists thousands of openings.

Buying A Home

The median home price in Portland is $242,000, a significant bargain compared to Seattle—$400,000 or San Francisco—$1,000,000. Also, the locals are both handy and creative so you might wind up with a house a cool feature like a nightclub in the basement. Go ahead and take a look at available homes for sale on Estately. That’s E-S-T-A-T-E-L-Y. Awesome site for finding a home in Portland, not that we’re biased or anything.

Progressive Politics

The two-party system is alive and well in Portland, but the two parties consist of the Democratic Party and the Green Party. President George H. W. Bush’s staffers called the city “Little Beirut” because of the protesters they encountered, something the locals take pride in. Well, everyone except Jeff in Richmond, who’s a republican.

Mountains Sometimes Go Boom

Would you accept living 50 miles from an 11,000-foot-tall volcano that occasionally erupts in exchange for a stunning mountain view and year-round skiing? Everything comes at a price. On the upside, the volcano that exists under the city is extinct.

Summertime

Portland comes alive in the summer when the skies clear and temperatures average 80 degrees. Locals hang out in city parks, hike in nearby forests, windsurf on the Columbia River, and forage for berries in woods. Nine months of complaining about the rain gives way to basking in the sunshine, except for those whiny imbeciles who choose to complain it’s too hot. They know who they are.

Very Little Snow

Are you a Midwesterner experienced in snow driving? Congrats! If you move to Portland you’ll be one of the best snow drivers in town! The locals are admittedly terrible at it, mostly due to a lack of experience because it only snows a few days per year. Be sure to brag about your driving skills because everyone will be really impressed that some dude from Ohio can drive in the snow.

Sports

Portland isn’t home to an NFL or MLB franchise, or even a college sports power, but it does have the NBA’s Portland Trailblazers and MLS’ Portland Timbers. The Trailblazers have made great strides in recent years in improving their public image after years of being called The Jailblazers (frequent player arrests), but it’s a far cry from the Clyde Drexler days. The Timbers have a strong following made up of aspiring hooligans, Europhiles, people who like to wear scarves, but also thousands of actual soccer fans who really know the game. If that doesn’t do it for you, the city is also home to roller derby, lacrosse, a Triple-A baseball team, Single A baseball team, a major-junior ice hockey team, a touch rugby team, and one heck of an Ultimate Frisbee team in the Portland Stags.

Food Carts

Portland is known far and wide for having over 400 food carts and mobile eateries. Unlike New York, which features the same hot dog cart on seemingly every corner, Portland boasts incredible variety. The city is even home to Kargi Gogo, a food cart serving up traditional cuisine from the country of Georgia (Sakartvelo). Located between Turkey and Russia, Georgia is the kind of a hip, indie country most people have never even heard of, but obviously Portland has.

Share The City With Wildlife

Portland is a modern city, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never encounter wildlife. Bats live under bridges, owls sometimes swipe at hikers, coyotes stalk cats, deer eat your roses, and raccoons sometimes poke their heads inside the doggie door in search of a snack. However, there are no sharks, poisonous snakes, or alligators.

No Sales Tax

It’s a shopper’s paradise, and not just because it’s home to the world’s absolute greatest bookstore—Powell’s Books. There is no sales tax in Oregon, so you’ll save a ton of cash when you shop in Portland, particularly if you don’t have a job because Oregon is home to an income tax instead.

Mass Transit

Portland routinely pops up on lists of the top cities for mass transit in the country with a comprehensive transportation system that includes commuter rail and buses, light rail and streetcar lines, and also bike and pedestrian paths. While the city is facing budget shortfalls, Portland is still out ahead while other cities are playing from behind. Portland was one of the first American cities to reintroduce streetcars when it unveiled modern ones in 2001.

Get Outdoors

Portland is a great city for runners and cyclists, but there are even more outdoor recreation opportunities just outside the city. Nearby forests are great for hiking and foraging, and the surrounding rivers are popular for fishing, kayaking and windsurfing. Nearby Mt. Hood has four ski resorts and the Oregon Coast is less than 90 minutes away in case you want to dip your toe in the Pacific Ocean.

Razor Clamming

You’re not truly a local until you’ve cut your hand hunting the coast’s most elusive of shoreline bivalves—the mighty Pacific razor clam.

Potential for Alcoholism

Portland is home to some of world’s best breweries and brew pubs, and it routinely shows up on lists of best beer cities from the likes of CNN, Esquire, GQ, Men’s Journal, and others. On top of being the Craft Beer Capital of America, the city is also leading a craft spirits movement from its own Distillery Row. Combine that with the exceptional wines from the Willamette Valley and double the bars of neighboring Seattle, and it’s no wonder Portland hosts over 500 Alcoholics Anonymous meetings each week.

It’s Very Green

Portland was ahead of the curve when it comes to sustainable urban planning and wins various awards for its general environmental awesomeness. Locals pride themselves on raising chickens and growing vegetables in their backyards, purchasing locally-sourced everything, and doing a little free ranging of their own in some of the city’s 90,000 acres of green space. Add all that to an urban growth boundary the keeps the urban side urban and the nature side natural and you got yourself some serious green cred. And also a little controversy regarding land use.

Talented Chefs

There’s a lot of buzz about Portland’s culinary scene thanks to nationally-recognized chefs like Andy Ricker (Pok Pok and Whiskey Soda Lounge), Gabriel Rucker (Le Pigeon), Scott Dolich (Park Kitchen), Cathy Whims (Nostrana) and Naomi Pomeroy (Beast). Portland is perfectly located to take advantage of coastal seafood, area farms and orchards, and forests filled wild mushrooms and other edibles. The city is quickly becoming one of the premier food cities in America.

Drawbridge Syndrome

Once you move to Portland, you’ll immediately want to stop others from moving there because they’ll ruin it. Don’t feel bad for being a hypocrite, it’s called “drawbridge syndrome,” and it’s been going on for generations. It’s the real reason some people call Portland “Bridgetown.”

Nobody Uses Their Car Horn

Car horns are not outlawed, but residents generally don’t use their horns much in traffic. Newcomers assume this is because Portlanders are polite, law-abiding people, a perception quickly discarded thanks to the high rate of car prowls and thefts. It’s surprising how badly some people want that old CD collection under the front seat.

Tooth Decay

Unlike practically every other city in America, Portland does not fluoridate its drinking water. The majority of scientific research shows fluoride is helpful for dental health and has no side effects, but voters are still skeptical. Is this just a natural distrust of chemical additives or are the city’s anti-fluoride activists simply in the pockets of Big Cavity? The debate will continue and you’ll be asked to pick a side.

You’ll Have To Buy A Bike

Bicycling Magazine rated Portland the #1 Bike-Friendly City in America in 2012 and for good reason. Twelve times more commuters travel by bike in Portland than the national average, and there are 319 miles of area bikeways. The downside is many people feel it’s necessary to ride unicycles.

#1 Dog City in America

With 33 dog parks, plenty of dog friendly restaurants, and its own social network for dogs, it’s no wonder Portland was named the #1 U.S. City for Dogs by Estately. The city also loves its cats, and the city’s professional soccer team even shares its stadium with a feral cat colony. There are a lot of ferrets as well, which is unfortunate.

Portlandia

Most of Portland is happy to laugh along with the portrayal of the city on the popular show Portlandia. Some residents loathe it, but nearly all have been inspired to stop putting birds on things.

The Importance of Breakfast

Aside from Happy Hour, breakfast is the most important meal of the day in Portland, which is why people will wait in line for hours for it. However, the city is home to an incredible number of delicious breakfast spots, as well as some of the best biscuits outside of the south. And yes, you can still get a donut covered in bacon or Fruit Loops at Voodoo Donuts, provided you can handle long lines.

Not A Fast Food City

Fast-food loving newcomers are often crushed to learn Portland has no Sonic (Tigard has one), Chick-fil-A, or In-N-Out Burger, but you’ll probably be able to console yourself at one of Portland’s many food carts. However, it’s not that the city doesn’t have any fast food love. Oregon is home to the inventors of the corn dog—George and Versa Boyington, who originally called it a Pronto Pup.

Portland Is Hipper Than Seattle

Sure, Portland’s neighbor to the north has a better economy an iconic Space Needle, but even the New York Times knows that Portland is the coolest city in the Northwest (apologies to La Grande). You can judge for yourself here:  Northwest Hipster Battle—Seattle vs. Portland in Epic Showdown. Eventually, you’ll probably have to move to Seattle to get a job, but you’ll always have those awesome tattoos to remember your Portland days (5th most tattooed city in America).

Portland’s Nuclear Option

Portland’s Reed College is home to the only nuclear reactor operated primarily by undergraduates… so… good luck.

Portland’s Nicknames

Portland got its name from a very uncreative beginning. Two settlers, one from Portland, Maine and one from Boston, Massachusetts flipped a coin to determine which one they’d name the new city after. Since then, the city’s residents have tried to make up for this lack of imagination by creating a variety of nicknames:  Stumptown, PDX, Rose City, Bridgetown, Beervana, Little Beirut, Potland, Munich on the Willamette, Rip City, Hipster Hollow, South Vancouver. Did we forget any?

Umbrellas Are For Tourists

It used to be that only the tourists used umbrellas, but then the Californians moved up and everything changed. Sidewalks grew congested with parasoled pedestrians and the city even put up a statue of a man with an umbrella. You call this progress?

Cinemas Have More Than Popcorn

The good people of Portland are largely responsible for the growing trend of movie theaters serving beer and food. Movie goers can pass on the overpriced sodas and popcorn tubs and instead get a great burger and local microbrew at more than a dozen area theaters.

What else should people consider before moving to Portland? Leave a comment to add to this list.

Click HERE If You Want To Buy A Home In Portland

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11 Best States for Bigfoot to Live

17 Best U.S. Cities for Dogs

Northwest Hipster Battle:  Seattle vs. Portland in Epic Hipster Showdown

Whether you believe in Bigfoot or not, the furry biped has been spotted in every U.S. state except Hawaii. Rather than debate if it’s a massive hoax or the most incredible game of hide-and-seek ever, we asked, “What are the best U.S. states for Sasquatch to live?”

Points were given for wilderness area and forest cover, protective laws, likelihood of deer roadkill (a favorite food), Bigfoot enthusiasm by locals, and frequency of sightings. Points were taken away for high population density, local bounties, laws allowing hunting of Bigfoot, and the number of reports of locals claiming to have shot one. In the end, Estately determined these 11 states provided the best habitat for Bigfoot to hide out and make occasional appearances in grainy photos and videos.

1. Washington State

According to the Bigfoot Field Reseachers Organization (BFRO), the Evergreen State has far and away the most “credible sightings” of any other state with 537. It really is the best state for Bigfoot to see and be seen. Heavily forested and with the fifth most designated wilderness acreage in the country, Washington State provides exceptional habitat and a Bigfoot-positive culture. The only downside is it also has the most reported Bigfoot shootings with 24, and locally-produced Olympia Beer is offering a $1 million reward for the safe capture of Bigfoot. Despite the threat of murder and kidnapping, Washington is the only state with a law on the books forbidding the hunting of Bigfoot (in Skamania County), and the state is home to the Sasquatch Music Festival, independent publisher Sasquatch Books, and it was the location for the classic Bigfoot film Harry and the Hendersons. It even used the Sasquatch as the mascot for its now vanished NBA team—the Seattle SuperSonics.

2. California

With over 428 sightings, California has the second highest number in the United States. The state has over 15 million acres of designated wilderness, as well as Bigfoot museums in Felton and Willow Creek. There are numerous organized groups searching high and low for them, including North America Bigfoot Search and Southern California Amateur Bigfooters (SCAB). The species is honored in the names of dozens of California businesses, including The Bigfoot Lodge in Los Angeles and San Francisco.

Truth be told, California gets the #2 slot because when Bigfoot finally comes out of the woods to reveal its existence, it’s going to want to hire an agent, purchase some laser hair removal, and take its talents to Hollywood.

3. Oregon

Oregon is the unfortunate home to the world’s only Bigfoot trap in the Siskiyou National Forest, but the state still exhibits the many features this hairy being craves. There is plenty of fog and dark forests to hide in, plus there’s over 2 million acres of wilderness and a hippie vibe that’s tolerant of infrequent bathing. The Sasquatch Brewing Company honors the beast with its Hairy Knuckles Stout, and there’s even a festival called the Sasquatch Brew Fest. Also, Bigfoot traditionally takes his water unflouridated, just like Portland, Oregon does.

4. Ohio

Being a bashful Bigfoot makes dating hard, especially for any Bigfoot longing to meet eligible humans. Luckily, Ohio’s residents take an unusually enthusiastic interest in the legend of Sasquatch, who’s been spotted in Ohio 234 times—more than all but three other states. The state hosts the annual Ohio Bigfoot Festival and the Ohio Bigfoot Conference, and there are numerous groups of squatch hunters in the state.

5. Texas

Everything’s bigger in Texas so Bigfoot should feel right at home in the Lone Star State. Still, the hairy one should be on the lookout for hunters because it’s completely legal to plug a Sasquatch in Texas, provided it’s on private property and with permission of the owner. Also, Texas is home to the dreaded Chupacabra so it’s possible they battle over territory.

While local Bigfoot enthusiasts gather for the Texas Bigfoot Conference, Sasquatch can wander the Sam Houston National Forest and feast on the exotic wildlife stocked at neighboring hunting ranches. It’s nice to add some antelope and ibex to the standard diet of deer and berries.

6. Idaho

With a small human population, plenty of wilderness, and millions of acres of rugged forest, Idaho is the kind of place even Bigfoot could get lost in. The only downside is the state is crawling with skilled hunters who have a keen eye for wildlife. Also, there’s an Idaho State University professor cooking up a plan to utilize drones with thermal imaging equipment to spot Sasquatch from the sky. Hard to find privacy.

7. Tennessee

Tennessee gets the nod over neighboring Kentucky because Bigfoot is still angry over Daniel Boone’s claim that he shot the first Sasquatch in the Bluegrass State. Also, nearly 58% of Tennessee is forested, and there are over 9,000 cozy caves to live in, the most in the country. As a special treat, Tennessee is home to 15 varieties of turtles, a healthy Bigfoot snack that’s both crunchy on the outside and chewy in the middle.

8. Michigan

According to BFRO, Michigan has 173 sightings—8th most in the nation. There are various local groups who study the elusive bipeds, including the Michigan Bigfoot Information Center and Michigan Bigfoot. Most importantly, Michigan is a culinary wonderland for ol’ Bigfoot thanks to extensive apple orchards and the fifth highest frequency of roadkill deer. Plus, with nearly 13,000 state parks there are excellent opportunities to steal picnic baskets from campers. Many Bigfoot sightings include witnessing the creature stealing apples, snatching deer carcasses off the road, and raiding campsites. As if that’s not enough food, there’s a local woman who claims to feed blueberry bagels to the numerous Bigfoot who live in the woods behind her house.

9. Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania tends to shoot first and ask questions later when they come in contact with a Bigfoot, but perhaps that’s because the fuzzy rascal is allegedly prone to vandalizing RVs? All the same, the Keystone State is 66% forested habitat, with Bigfoot sightings frequently occurring in the Michaux State Forest. The state also has an enthusiastic fan club in the Pennsylvania Bigfoot Society. Pennsylvania is also home to the Houdini Museum, and surely Bigfoot is an admirer of the late performer’s skill in escaping.

10. North Carolina

While the rest of the country bad mouths Bigfoot’s horrible stench (like a skunk + rotten cabbage), North Carolina’s hill people speak lovingly of its “beautiful hair.”Besides this welcome praise, the rugged terrain of the Great Smokies and Blue Ridge Mountains provide ideal habitat, and the warmer climate provides ideal weather for mating season, apparently March through April. Many in North Carolina, such as Carolina Bigfoot Field Research, are working diligently to protect these allegedly non-existent creatures.

11. West Virginia

West Virginia is the #1 state for roadkill deer, providing a virtual roadside buffet for the hungry Bigfoot. And to wash it down, moonshiner shacks still dot the hills so Sasquatch can sneak a little swig now and then. In addition, 81% of the mountainous state is forested, it’s sparsely populated, and there are plenty of caves—ideal for a reclusive Bigfoot. However, the West Virginia Bigfoot Research Organization is fast on their over-sized heels, frequently searching the region for the elusive Sasquatch.

The 5 Worst States for Bigfoot to Live

46. New Jersey: Share the woods with the Jersey Devil? No way.

47. North Dakota: Nowhere to hide in a state that’s only 2.6% forested.

48. Louisiana: Humidity wreaks havoc on hair so just imagine if your entire body was covered in it.

49. Hawaii:  It would be awful lonely living in state devoid of any other Bigfoot.

50. Florida: Around these parts, Bigfoot gets called a Skunk Ape, which is unflattering. Also, Florida has the fifth highest recorded incidents of people shooting a Bigfoot. And there’s a Florida-based online store selling fake Bigfoot urine in glass specimen bottles.

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37 Things to Consider Before Moving to Seattle

Ask Cleveland’s haters and they’ll tell you the city is a cold, miserable sports town with a river that once caught fire when a young Drew Carey played with matches. The truth, however, is that Cleveland is all kinds of awesome. To prove it, we compiled 23 compelling reasons people should move to Cleveland and buy a home.

1. Shorter Commute

According to Kiplinger, Cleveland is the sixth best city in America for commuters, with an average commute time of just 23.9 minutes. Cleveland has the highest rate of public transit users of any on their list, and the highway system is relative unclogged thanks to population shrinkage over the years. Plus, since time is money the less time spent commuting means more money to spend on a custom paint job and rims.

2. Tailgating

While fans in sunnier climates nosh on perde crudo paired with a crisp vino verde, Browns fans tailgate in a manner that makes America proud. Cleveland fans arrive early in decorated RVs and school buses, enjoy snow-chilled beers with a whole roasted pig or chili, and even play tackle football in the parking lot. Since Browns games rarely offer more than crushing disappointment, fans compensate with some of the most enthusiastic tailgating in America, and by “enthusiastic” we mean “a booze-fueled spectacle of glory.” You can learn how to tailgate like a true Browns fan with some help from Peter Chakerian’s book The Browns Fan’s Tailgating Guide or his article in the Cleveland Scene.

3. Remarkably Affordable Houses

Once the wealthiest city in America, Cleveland is still home to the large mansions of former titans of industry. Nowadays, buying a house in Cleveland is dramatically cheaper than most other major cities. According to Fiserv Case-Shiller, the median home price in the Cleveland area is just $150,000, compared to $361,000 in the Seattle area, $370,000 in the Los Angeles area, and $440,000 in the New York City area. View Cleveland homes currently for sale here on Estately.

4. Hot Sister

Cleveland is sister cities with Brasov, Romania, that beautiful Eastern European temptress of a town that every metropolis in the world longs for. Perhaps Cleveland will introduce you? Maybe locally-produced performer Dave Hill knows her because he is very knowledgeable on such subjects.

5. Become A Star On The Stage

Each year thousands of aspiring actors flood New York City to star in real life performances of Failure, Going Broke Not Starring On Broadway, and the classic Moving Back In With Mom & Dad. But did you know that Cleveland has the largest theater complex outside of New York, and the cost of living in Cleveland is a fraction of NYC’s?

6. Beer. Glorious Beer.

While the rest of the country swirls its merlot and sips its vodka soda, the good people of Cleveland are churning out incredible beers like the Blackout Stout, Lake Erie Monster, and the Oompa Loompa Chocolate Stout? But great beer on tap is only the beginning, Cleveland is also home to the Micro Woodie—a portable beer truck you can rent for parties or events. Consider this revered brew mobile a warning shot across the bow of anyone who thinks American ingenuity is a thing of the past.

7. Snow

Locals joke that Cleveland has two seasons—winter and construction. And while it’s true Cleveland experiences more than its fair share of snowy days (62.5 inches of snow per year), it also has the most snowball fights in the country, urban snowmobiling, and the opportunity to cross-country ski to work on really bad days. Also, shoveling snow is great exercise.

8. A Christmas Story House

If it weren’t for all that snow then A Christmas Story probably wouldn’t have been filmed in Cleveland. Ralphie’s house from the movie remains, and it’s been restored to its original movie splendor. The Major Award Leg Lamp is in the window and tours are offered.

9. Reduced Chance of Skin Cancer

Overall, the average U.S. city enjoys 205 sunny days. Cleveland gets only 163 so that means a reduced chance of skin cancer, right? Luckily, most of these sunny days take place during the Cleveland Indians outdoor games.

10. Quarterbacks Welcome

Are you a elite NFL quarterback? Do you want a town that will truly appreciate your talents and give you a hero’s welcome befitting an astronaut newly returned from Mars with the cure for cancer? And to get a hero’s welcome from the town that created Superman is saying something.

11. West Side Market

Cleveland is home to the legendary West Side Market, an indoor/outdoor market space featuring over a hundred different vendors selling a variety of meats, cheeses, baked goods and fresh produce. It’s like a train station completely filled with all things delicious and the rest of America envies it.

12. Most Glorious Cheese Sandwich Shop In America

Got a Lake Erie Monster-sized craving for grilled cheese sandwiches? Cleveland’s Melt is a legendary local shop with a following so devoted there are over 700 people walking this planet with a grilled cheese tattoo honoring the shop. That’s love. That’s devotion. That’s the power of Melt.

13. Big Fun

A little fun now and then is nice, but Cleveland is home to Big Fun, a “cornucopia of delights, a cathedral for counter culture, a warehouse of nerdabilia and nostalgia.” The shop is home to a ton of toys and general awesomeness abounds. Playboy Magazine called it one of the “coolest stores in America.”

14. Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame And Museum

It was a Cleveland deejay who first coined the term “rock and roll” so that’s why Cleveland got the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. Sorry, Los Angeles. The downside is that once a year a host of rockers come to town and trash all the hotel rooms because that’s what rock stars do. Come to think of it, an interactive exhibit in which visitors could trash a hotel room would be a hit. That type of creativity is much appreciated in Cleveland.

15. The Cleveland Orchestra

The city may be best known for its Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, but the internationally renowned Cleveland Orchestra has deeper roots in the city.

16. Haunted Merry-Go-Round Museum

Stashed in the old Sandusky Post Office, the Merry-Go-Round Museum features an array of artifacts from carousels and assorted merry-go-round relics. The coolest part is that the museum is haunted by a couple of ghosts so it’s the perfect setting for a Scooby Doo-style mystery adventure. Read about the haunting here.

17. Cleveland Is Tough

When you tell someone you live in Cleveland you immediately become the alpha dog because people are scared of Cleveland. Maybe it won’t intimidate Detroit, but Seattle is definitely going to let you hold the remote control.

18. Bone Thugs-n-Harmony

A city isn’t a true American city if it doesn’t have one famous rap group. Cleveland’s got Bone Thugs-n-Harmony and if you don’t think they count then best of luck to you when you meet them at the crossroads. Dudes did a song with Phil Collins so show some respect.

19. Big Blimpin’

Want to see your name on a blimp? Maybe a bunch of blimps hovering over your city? Maybe you’d like to be a blimp pilot or help build the next generation of blimps? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions then you want to head to Northern Ohio—blimpers paradise! You know, with a little community activism one could probably organize a Blimp Fleet Week and have Cleveland’s streets crawling with attractive blimp pilots and crew. Contact city government here to pressure them.

20. Get Down With Nature

Most cities are content to set aside a few blocks big enough for some benches, a sad hacky sack game, and patch of grass for dogs to tinkle on. Cleveland one ups everybody with an extensive system of nature preserves that encircle the city like an emerald necklace. With over 21,000 acres of varied terrain, Cleveland Metroparks have hiking and biking trails, golf courses and fishing spots, toboggan chutes and cross-country skiing, and even geocaching and a castle.

21. Iron Chef Michael Symon + Best Burgers in America

Hometown hero Michael Symon is a James Beard award winner who helped save the downtown restaurant scene, and is probably the only man on the planet allowed to sport a soul patch. The Braiser called Symon “Cleveland’s Protein Dreamboat” and he’ll cook you something memorable at Lola, Lolita, or B Spot—winner of the title Best Burger in America three years in a row! And Symon is just the most famous of Cleveland’s culinary icons. The city is also home to Jonathan Sawyer of Greenhouse Tavern and plenty of other chefs on the rise who celebrate local ingredients and food traditions.

22. Keep Your Car Safe

Cleveland hasn’t won a championship in any major pro sport since 1964. According to local sports fan John Hyduk there is an upside:  “I, for one, sleep well in the knowledge that my car will never be overturned in a championship celebration.”

Unless the Cleveland Indians win the World Series this year…

23. Cool Nicknames

Some people have to pay for a nickname, but Cleveland’s street cred earned it monikers like Forest City, Metropolis of the Western Reserve, The Rock and Roll Capital of the World, The Plum City, C-Town, The Cleve, Sixth City, North Coast, Mistake on the Lake, Halle Berry’s Hometown, Comeback City, Land of tha Heartless, and more. You’ll probably get an awesome nickname if you move there, Dave.

Ready to move to Cleveland? Find your dream home at Estately.com!!

If we forgot any good reasons to move to Cleveland, which we certainly did, let us know in the comments section.

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17 Best U.S. Cities for Dogs

13 Baffling Real Estate Listings

17 Terrible Neighbors to Avoid When Buying a House

May is National Pet Month so for all the urban dog people out there in search of a home, we’ve compiled this list of the best cities in America for dogs. We scoured the country, factoring in weather, Walk Score, yard size, dog activities, Meetup groups, and the availability of dog sitters on Rover.com. After a lot of debate we settled on these 17 urban dog paradises.

#1—Portland, Oregon

The Rose City falls over itself to spoil its dogs. With 33 dog parks, Portland has the most per capita of any large city in the United States. It also boasts 19 pet massage therapists, its own social network for dog lovers, and it’s one of Rover.com‘s Top 20 Cities. The average household spends $32.38 per month on pets, which may include items off the Doggie Menu at Tin Shed Garden Café, the Kibbles-N-Bits breakfast at Lucky Labrador Brew Pub, or the Truffle Dog Training Seminar down the road in Eugene, Oregon.

• According to Portlanders.com, Portland is one of the few cities outside of France where you can take your dog into pubs. 
• City government is considering a $150 fine for people who don’t scoop their dog’s poop. That’s more than the cost of renting a portable toilet for a month!
• Portland, Maine was eliminated from this list because it holds an annual Canine Kissing Contest. 
• According to Estately’s real estate listings, the average lot size is a spacious 8,283 square feet.

Apparently no mention of Portland is complete these days without referencing the popular show Portlandia so here’s a dog-related clip. Now can we move on?

#2—San Diego, California

Great weather, dog-friendly beaches and 16 dog parks make San Diego a happy home for hounds. From dining out to surfing, there’s a vast array of activities dogs and people can share together. However, for those times when the humans have to go solo Rover.com says San Diego is one of the best cities to find a great dog sitter. There are plenty of restaurants with dog-friendly patios, a National Dog Party Day, and a strong dog-advocacy community.

• The city is the dog surfing capital of the world and even hosts an annual dog surfing competition called Surf Dog Surf-A-Thon.
• San Diego is moving to ban the sale of pets bred in commercial breeding facilities (article).

#3—Seattle, Washington

What Seattle lacks in sunny days it more than makes up for with a local culture committed to happy, active dogs. In recent years, Seattle’s dog population has grown rapidly, and even surpassed the number of children living in the city limits.

Unlike in many other cities, dogs are welcome on Seattle’s bus lines, ferries, light rail, and even local seaplanes. Unfortunately, local internet traffic is probably slowed by the many dog-themed Tumblr accounts, Facebook pages, and blogs, such as You Did What WIth Your Wiener?

• Locally-based REI sells over 150 dog-related outdoor adventure products online.
• Seattle Dog Spot’s calendar lists a variety of events each week for dog lovers. 
• The Emerald City is home to Rover.com, an online dog boarding site that connects dog owners with dog lovers willing to open their homes for a fee. 
• There are 32 different Meetup groups for dog lovers, as well as dog-friendly businesses like BARK! espresso, Norm’sEatery & Ale House, Rex and Scraps Dog Bakery.

#4—Austin, Texas

Even dogs who don’t love live music and delicious Tex-Mex will feel at home in the Texas capital. There are 11 dog parks in town, plenty of water to play in, and no shortage of activities to share with your dog. Austin offers a variety of pet boutiques, health food stores for Fido, and more than 35 pet photographers. Wow. But the best part is Austin is home to Kramer the Austin Famous Rock Dog (he fishes for rocks in local lakes and streams).

• Bow-Wow Chow is Austin’s first mobile food truck for dogs.
• The city hosts the annual Easter Pet Parade & Costume Contest, the Austin Dog Fair, and many more dog celebrations. 
• Austin is one Rover.com‘s Top 20 Cities

#5—San Francisco, California

San Francisco has the third most dog parks of any city in the U.S. with 27, and Walk Score has it ranked second nationally for walkability. Dogs are even allowed on trolley cars, which makes for a cute photo, but only if your dog enjoys waiting in line for an hour to go up a hill. For something more fun, The Stray Bar provides a dog-friendly watering hole that doles out free popcorn, something dogs love.

• Ample dog-friendly restaurants with patio dining, dog news from Bay Woof, as well a gyms where you can take your dog while you get fit.
• Over 50 different dog Meetup groups and one of Rover.com‘s Top 20 Cities.
• Dogs can ride area ferries, but not on Bay Area Rapid Transit unless crated. However, there is a cab that drives around with a pet Chihuahua sprawled out on the rear dash.
• In California, dogs are not allowed to mate publicly within 500 yards of a tavern, school, or place of worship. 

#6—Albuquerque, New Mexico

Albuquerque is a dog’s paradise. With 33,000 acres of public parks, that’s about a 1/4 acre for every dog, cat and bird! While the city’s walkability is average and heartworm is more common here, the upside is there are only 61 days of precipitation so dogs have the opportunity to spend a lot of time outdoors.

• 100 restaurants either serve hot dogs or are named something with the word “dog” in it, and none of them actually serve dog.
• The Mayor’s Dog Ball is held annually to raise money in support of a spaying and neutering program.

#7—Tucson, Arizona

With more than 350 says of sunshine each year, Tucson is the sunniest city in America. If lazily sunning oneself in a sizable yard or a restaurant’s outdoor patio isn’t exciting enough for your dog, got moving and enjoy plenty of outdoor activities in local parks, play facilities and trails. The city’s outdoor recreation opportunities are an energetic dog’s dream come true, with the exception of occasional rattlesnakes.

• Tucson hosts an annual Pitbulooza in honor of National Pit Bull Awareness Day.
• The city’s tourism boosters brag that “the pampered pooch can even enjoy a spa treatment or shopping spree at one of numerous pet boutiques.”
• Tucson is one Rover.com‘s Top 20 Cities so there’s a place for your pooch to stay when you’re away.

#8—Boston, Massachusetts

Despite having few off-leash dog parks, there are plenty of public spaces to walk your dog, as well as numerous pet-friendly activities. Boston is home to the first subway built in America and dogs are allowed to ride it during off-peak hours. Additionaly, there are cruises of Boston Harbor that include time for dogs to play pirate and explore an uninhabited island. Boston’s Liberty Hotel hosts a weekly “Yappier Hour,” a happy hour with food and drinks for both people and their four-legged friends.

• Labrador Retrievers are the most popular breed of dog in Boston. The other top dog breeds can be found here.
• According to this Block Avenue article, Boston neighborhoods with high numbers of pet dogs can be a sign of high home ownership.
• There’s no shortage of websites and blogs dedicated to Boston’s dogs. Check out Fido Loves—a great online source of information for all things dog-related in Boston, and they provide insight into dog-friendly neighborhoods and apartment buildings.
• Boston is one Rover.com‘s Top 20 Cities
• National Media:  This article is proof you don’t have to use the word “wicked” when writing about Boston.

#9—Phoenix, Arizona

Phoenix, as well as neighboring Tempe and Scottsdale, are positively littered with retirees with time to spend with their canine companions. Plus, with 85 percent of days free of precipitation, rainy days rarely keep dogs from being walked. The area is loaded with various pet amenities and a busy calendar of dog-themed events around town.

• The Arizona Diamondbacks let you to take your dog out to the ballgame with their annual Bark in the Park event.
• Phoenix is one of Rover.com‘s top cities so there’s always a dog sitter or dog boarding available.
• According to Estately’s real estate listings, the average lot size is a spacious 8,977 square feet.

#10—Minneapolis, Minnesota

If you’ve ever seen a Corgi cheerfully plodding along through a two-foot snow drift then you know true happiness. If not, then perhaps it’s time you packed up and headed for Minneapolis. The city is blessed with a pooch-positive culture, a hefty serving of dog-friendly restaurants, and plenty of parks and hiking trails. The downside is harsh winters can leave dogs trapped inside for long stretches, but when the sun is out there are fun activities like the Canine Carnival, various breed-specific Meetups, and Beer With Your Buddy—the opportunity to drink a brew at the pub while your four-legged pal socializes.

• Pampered pooches go to Bone Adventure, Urban Animal, and Downtown Dogs.
• Check out City Pages’ Top 5 Dog-Friendly Patios in the Twin Cities.
• There are plenty of talented photographers like the one at StonehousePhoto who took the photo below.

#11—Colorado Springs, Colorado

If a dog loses its paws to frostbite in Colorado Springs it gets four new prosthetic paws and the name Naki’o the Bionic Dog because the city is home to an awesome veterinarian assistant named Christie Pace—(related article).

In addition to dog heroes, Colorado Springs has an abundance of affordable vets, plenty of dog amenities, and households that spend a whopping $35.75 per month on their pets—perhaps at the cleverly named Republic of Paws or Ruffing It? With only 90 days of precipitation, the weather provides plenty of opportunity to explore the city’s parks and nearby hiking trails with four-legged friends.

• Dogs are welcome at the local Ghost Town Wild West Museum.
• There’s an incredibly lifelike statue of a Great Dane in Acacia Park.

#12—Chicago, Illinois

What Chicago lacks in dog parks—just 0.6 parks per 100,000 residents—it makes up for in walkability, dog-centered activities, and ample dog boarding opportunities as one of Rover.com‘s Top 20 Cities. Chicago law understandably forbids serving whiskey to dogs, but its prohibition on dogs at the opera runs contrary to the city’s reputation for dog inclusivity. Overall, Chicago does right by its dogs with strong anti-cruelty campaigns, dog-friendly beaches, and an annual Chicago White Sox Dog Day where dogs are allowed at the stadium.

• Locals with fashionable dogs shop at Barker & Meowsky—A Paw Firm.
• Chicago is home to a concierge service for dogs.

#13—Las Vegas, Nevada

Las Vegas has a whopping 25 off-leash dog parks—a per capita third best in the nation. Sin City doesn’t get much respect for walkability with a Walk Score of 49.2, but 85% of days are sunny so only extreme heat is an excuse for not walking the dog. Vegas is home to a dog-themed radio program called The Las Vegas Hot Diggity Dog Show, and a Dachshund rescue group with the slogan “Saving the World One Wiener at a Time.”

• According to Dog Jaunt, many of the casinos allow dogs as guests
• Local law states if a neighbor shoots your dog for barking in your own yard you are legally allowed to hang them.

#14—Miami, Florida

For dogs with the right look, Miami is the perfect city to strut their stuff. However, if your pooch is a droopy, insecure Basset Hound with body issues then strolling a beach teeming with glamorous Chihuahuas and muscle-bound Bull Mastiffs is cause for pause. Regardless, great weather and plenty of sandy beaches mean recreation opportunities abound for dogs who like to romp on the beach, and dining with dogs is easy thanks to seemingly limitless patio space at city restaurants. The downside is that exotic birds like parrots are welcome as well, and everyone knows dogs love to chase noisy birds, even if they’re tethered to an attention-craving eccentric.

Shop for your furry friend in dozens of boutique shops offering upscale grooming, designer dog apparel, and fashionable collars and leashes.

• Dogs are mocked less by people in Miami because it’s actually illegal to imitate an animal there.
• Check out Miami’s Top Ten Dog-Friendly Restaurants

#15—Washington, DC

Only 21.9 percent of the city’s households own a pet, but the capital is still a great city for dogs. Washington, D.C. is the 7th most walkable large city in America according to Walk Score, and there are seven dog parks for locals to use. In addition, there is ample public space and parks to walk a dog, including some of our nation’s most cherished monuments.

• Good dogs get rewarded with pupcakes, canine cookies, and Mutt Licks ice cream at the Doggie Style Bakery, Boutique & Spa.
• There are plenty of festivals and outdoor celebrations that welcome dogs.
• On occasion, local puppies adorably travel about in a rolling cooler. Here’s proof.
• Washington, DC is one of Rover.com‘s Top 20 Cities.

#16—Denver, Colorado

Regardless of whether Denver (the dog in the video) got into the kitty cat treats, Denver (the city) has nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to being a great town for dog lovers to buy a home.

With nine off-leash dog parks, 111 pet-related stores, and sunshine 69% of days, Denver is a hot spot for happy hounds. Skoops Ice Cream and More serves up specially-made frozen treats for dogs, and Golden Triangle Liquors on 12th allows dogs to stroll their booze-filled aisles, and even doles out non-alcoholic treats to pooches.

• For a field trip, there’s a Purina dog food production factory on the outskirts of town.

#17—Cleveland, Ohio

Cleveland isn’t blessed with many dog parks, but the city on Lake Erie respects the hound more than most. FirstEnergy Stadium is home to the legendary Dawg Pound—the bleacher section reserved for the Cleveland Browns’ most rabid fans. This is not to be confused with the Long Beach-based hip hop duo Tha Dogg Pound. Not only does the city use a dog as the mascot for both the Cleveland Browns (Chomp) and Cleveland Cavaliers (Moondog), but it also houses the taxidermied body of legendary sled dog Balto in the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. Balto is a true American hero.

• Cleveland has lots of dog-friendly parks, including Holden Arboretum, which has 20 miles of hiking trails.
• The annual Woofstock is just one of many events that raises money for pet causes.

The following cities didn’t make the cut…

Hartford, Connecticut:  It’s illegal to educate a dog in Hartford. Also, dogs bearing tattoos must be reported to police. Why does Hartford’s big-brother mentality concern itself with a dog’s choice of skin art?

Madison, Wisconsin:  It’s illegal for dogs to chase squirrels even if the squirrel is baiting the dog by climbing down from the tree, swishing its tail, and chattering noisily. 

Los Angeles, California:  The lack of dog parks is bad enough, but no city that allows Paris Hilton to own multiple dogs and keep them in her purse should ever be included in a list of Top Cities for Dogs. Period.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:  With an average of 2,354-square-feet, Philly’s homes have some of the smallest yards in the country. Dog claustrophobia can be cured with an occasional cheesesteak though.

Other Articles By Estately

23 Dogs Photobombing Real Estate Listings

The 21 Most Adorable and Absurd Doghouses

Searching through hundreds of real estate listings each day turns up plenty of unexpected real estate listing photos. There are surprise appearances by dogs, realtors capturing their reflections in mirrors, and walls covered in racy artwork. We thought we’d seen it all until real estate reporter Liz Spikol of Philadelphia Magazine alerted us to this Philadelphia home for sale, which features everything we could possibly imagine in one single listing.

Resident In Photo

Note the carpet matches the drapes, which also match the stripe on the man’s track suit. That’s how you put a room together.

Basement Bar

Three artistic depictions of scantily clad women, heart-shaped chairs, fake rock walls, a cat wandering the pool table, and tour guide proudly showing off the basement bar more than make it worthy of the title Best Basement Bar in Philly.

Conveniently Located Bathroom

For those times when you’re hastily throwing back beers, it’s handy to have a bathroom just steps from the bar. All the better if the bathroom is a colorful frenzy of yellow and aquamarine.

Wood Paneling

We’ve celebrated the glory of wood paneling in a previous post, but we’ve taken no stance on mirrored closet doors, chandeliers,  and ornate dressers and commodes. You are free to take a side.

Doll Collection

There is a really high number of homes with doll collections in Philadelphia and Chicago. Why? Nobody knows for sure, but it’s fairly common. The question of which city is hoarding the bulk of our nation’s Beannie Babies remains unsolved.

Race Car Bed

Every kid who ever watched Silver Spoons longed for a children’s bedroom with Ricky Schroeder’s race car bed. This house has one, which is awesome.

Romance

A roaring fire, roses, cherubs—the table is set for romance. Also, the furniture is covered in plastic.

Decorative Flourishes

Collections of statues and figurines aren’t solely reserved for the interior. The exterior of this Philadelphia home showcases ornate fences, two lion statues, and one of a woman perched on a pedestal. There are even white tassels hanging from the purple awning over the door.

Missing Cat

Sadly, the cat is missing from this photo, but there are plenty more examples of cats photobombing listings out there, and the cat’s absence really let you focus on the faux rock walls.

What do you think of this Philadelphia home? Is it the greatest collection of real estate listing photos ever or something else? Let us know in the comments.

Other Articles By Estately…

17 Terrible Neighbors to Avoid When Buying a House

11 Homes With Features Top Secret Agents Would Love

Cats Photobombing Real Estate Listings

Garden Gnomes Need Homes—Will You Adopt?

In addition to square footage and the condition of the roof, it’s important to consider who your neighbors will be when buying a home. Investigate them via online searches, public records, and even social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. Bad neighbors can ruin a great house, so be on the lookout for these 17 types of terrible neighbors.

1. A Social Rival

If we’ve learned anything from Arrested Development, we’ve learned living next door to a social rival like Lucille 2 is fraught with danger. It starts with petty comments and insults at the club, but eventually this elderly harlot is dating your son, Buster Bluth. Take it from Lucille Bluth—they don’t make martinis strong enough to deal with a neighbor like that.

2. Crappy Band House

Living next to a terrible band that practices at night is something to avoid, but it could be worse. Imagine the poor homeowners who live next door to the Canadian rock band Nickelback, widely viewed as the worst band of the past decade. Let’s all take a moment to say a quiet prayer that one day their suffering will end and their ears will know peace.

3. Chubby Napoleon With Nukes

North Korea is the worst kind of neighbor. It threatens you with nuclear weapons and bums food off you, keeps gulags on its property, but the worst part is it invites Dennis Rodman over to “just hang and have some fun.” Terrible.

4. Arrogant Green Thumb

Your neighbor’s incredible landscaping, meticulous lawn care, and impressive garden puts your yard to shame. And they like to rub it in every chance they get.

5. Dangerous Pet

Whether it’s just a vicious dog growling behind a questionable fence, a crazed ape, or an 800-pound grizzly bear, a dangerous animal living next door is not optimal. Actually, cancel that. That bear is awesome.

6. Hoarders

A&E’s hit show Hoarders has revealed just what’s going on inside the cluttered homes of America’s most disturbed hoarders. The piles of rotting garbage are so sick we’ve provided an image of a dollhouse of hoarders instead of a real pic. If your home is next to a hoarder’s then one day you might be interviewed by the local media regarding the neighbor who was eaten by his/her 40 cats and nobody wants to do that.

7. Over-The-Top Holiday Lights

You love the holidays as much as the next person, but you do not like the bright, searing light of the lit-up home that glows day and night. The only comparable thing to living beside this is living on the surface of the sun.

8. House Covered With Wind Chimes

According to the principles of Feng Shui, wind chimes restore balance and harmony to a home or yard. According to the principles of good taste, wind chimes are tacky, terrible and one of the most effective ways to make any neighbor in earshot justifiably hate your guts.

9. Justin Bieber

Your teenage daughter may be thrilled, but The Beebs is reputed to be a rotten neighbor. He is alleged to speed dangerously through the neighborhood in his Ferrari, and he’s being charged with spitting on a neighbor and threatening to kill him. Plus, Bieber rolls with a questionable crew of little friends, like Lil Za and Lil Twist, and there are allegations of Sizzurp use (a codeine blend), pot parties (marijuana soirees), and even a pet monkey. As if that isn’t enough, he sometimes plays his own music loudly and that music is terrible.

10. Creepy Peeping Tom

Ever get that feeling you’re being watched? If you live next door to one of these creepers it’s probably because you are. Better factor a privacy fence and curtains into the purchase price of the house.

11. The Kramer

A neighbor that drops by unannounced isn’t as funny as network television would have you believe. Eventually the comedic antics lose their charm and the spastic neighbor constantly intruding and eating your cereal begins to annoy you.

12. Meth Lab

Everybody loves a neighborhood cookout, unless the neighbors are cooking meth.

13. Celebrity Neighbor

You’d think living next door to Jennifer Anniston would be fun, right? You could borrow a cup of sugar from your huge movie star pal and maybe she’d could come over with a bottle of chardonnay and Chelsea Handler to talk about boys. Maybe she would even cat sit for you! However, whenever she leaves the house you’ll find the paparazzi camped out in your front yard and just imagine how that stampeding hoard of professional stalkers would trample the peonies.

14. A Farm

The countryside sounds lovely, but it’s not for everyone. Be sure to consider what it’s like to live by a farm, because a lot of people don’t know how real it can get.

15. Common Criminals

They rummage through your mail, remove your car stereos, and pedal off on your unlocked bicycle. If you want to have your UPS packages snatched off your front porch then by all means move next door to some criminals.

16. Old Lady That’s Impossible to Please

You can play your music on the lowest volume, tiptoe about like a ballerina, and that miserable hag next door will still find something to complain about. It’s no wonder her children don’t visit.

17. Fraternity/Sorority

Their boisterous antics are mildly adorable, but they will litter your yard with Red Solo Cups, and you can count your housepets being shaved as part of some terrible initiation ritual.

Other Articles By Estately…

37 Things You Should Consider Before Moving to Seattle

13 Baffling Real Estate Listing Photos

Recently we’ve seen a new trend: people who successfully sell their home, but unwittingly leave tens of thousands of dollars on the table. While we’re happy to take the deal when it’s one of our customers who gets “instant equity” in home purchase, we put together a list of the basic strategies everyone selling a home in a hot market should follow.

Created with Haiku Deck, the free presentation app for iPad

Any tips and tricks we missed? Leave ‘em in the comments!

In the House Haiku Contest

It is Darryl Lee

It’s official, Darryl Lee is the winner of the Estately House Haiku Contest. All must bow to Darryl. Not only does he win the grand prize, a 16GB iPad mini, but he earns the title of Twitter Poetry Slam Champion in the much coveted category of Haikus Relating to Real Estate. His haikus were a joy to a read, but Darryl really set himself up for victory by providing 61% of all submissions. Since the winner was selected at random he was the overwhelming favorite and the odds came out in his favor.

This was our personal favorite of Mr. Lee’s submissions…

The Flintstones-themed home belonging to the late Dick Clark was the muse for many, but not all of the entires. Here are some other choice haiku tweets…

Congratulations to Darryl Lee (@notyoutoo). DM us your mailing address and the prize will arrive soon! Thanks to everyone who participated in the Estately House Haiku Contest. And to everyone who didn’t we hope your Klaut score falls, your followers all have eggs for avatars, and your tweets are filled with typos.